Queenie from South Africa writes, "Missus Singapore, I have this thing. I am married but I just can't stop thinking and fantasising about good looking men making love to me. I won't do it but I do feel guilty about it. Am I not made for marriage. I wrote in about the same issue to several magazines which have yet to respond to me. I was hoping you would."
MS: My dear Queenie, you are married, not dead. Marriage does not mean that you submit yourself to a lifetime as a nun. It's normal and if you think your husband doesn't have the same thoughts, you are wrong. Men have them all the time.
It's really alright to harbour such fantasies but I'd be more comfortable if your husband is also in the loop of your 'mental indiscretions', if he is open minded, that is. You can share your fantasies and you'll find that these can really add some spice to your sex lives. A little teasing of the male ego, albeit with subtelty, can drive him to want to 'our-perform' and 'pound away' any ideas you have of being with another man. It works wonders.
If you both talk more openly, you'll find too that it will not only help spruce up your sex lives but work to smoothen other areas of your marriage. With that comes trust. Give it a shot.
Missus Singapore out!