SHE'S GONE

It is a sad day today. My friend Amanda called me to tell me that she finally left her husband of six years. It was such a pity and I received the news with a heavy heart. If you remember some years back, I posted about her and all the problems she was having in bed.

Well, to recap, the sex was just not good but although she can joke about it now that it was the bad sex that caused her to up and leave, I knew there were deeper issues.

I've always been a proponent of the importance of sex in a marriage but it merely plays a complimentary role. There are so many other elements that are involved in a marriage. Ultimately, open communication, honesty and equality are vital - things she never did have in her relationship. It is really such a pity because there was just so much hope when they got hitched.

But looking back, these two were really too driven by their careers to be ready for marriage. If they had waited just a little longer, spoken at length about their priorities then, they would have had a better chance evading such a an outcome. Amanda agrees.

Sex may not make a marriage but it certainly can help strengthen in. Unfortunately, they were one of those couples who had to schedule for it. Once a week became once a fortnight and soon they just got too busy to even plan for it. They drifted apart and even without fighting that much, the writing was on the wall for their union.

Alas, another marriage bites the dust.

Missus Singapore out!

BE ONE OF THE LUCKY GUYS

Some guys are luckier that others when it comes to meeting girls. I was once told that a guy has to be bold and make his move at every opportune moment and make his presence known. Well, I didn't quite agree with that because most of the time, guys don't know about the thin line between being friendly and obnoxious.

I can smell an obnoxious chap a mile away and it just makes me want to slap him for some reason. I don't know what it is but I just feel like it.

I don't for a minute subscribe to the alpha male being outright bold at getting his women because it can be quite a turn off especially these days when women are putting their gray matter to use. The alpha male has an aura about him which does not have to do with being loud.

The mysterious and subtle guy seems to get more action from what I know. The mystery draws curiosity and the subtlety at reaching out is the hook. Not wanting or seeming too eager is always a plus. Unfortunately, most men don't see it that way.

I'm not saying you sit by your lonesome in a dark corner at the pub and hope some sexy babe comes up to you. Think about making friends first and not sex when any approach is made. A genuine smile (not a sleazy peer into her cleavage) goes a long way. And if you can keep sex or any sexual insinuations out of the conversation for more than 20 minutes, I'd say you will have a chance with this woman.

Yes, no doubt there are horny women out there, who just wanna get laid (take me for instance) but it does not take much for someone to come along and spoil the mood for us. A horny woman doesn't mean she is immune to getting turned off.

Ironically, by not appearing to desperate to pick up a woman, you actually boost your chances of getting one. So play it cool, let your charm and charisma (if you have any) shine and not your need to get a free lay. If you do so, chances are you will have more babes to lay than you can handle - that's the ultimate goal anyway, isn't it?

Missus Singapore out!

SPANK ME (POLL 21)

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to vote on my latest poll on spanking. A total of 62 of you voted and exactly 50% or 31 have been spanked before. Let's just assume that its part of the foreplay or arousal ritual for sex and not after you were caught raiding the cookie jar when you were 7 years old!

Interestingly, (I thought the number would be higher) only 48% of those who have been spanked actually enjoyed it. So it turns out that it's not as widespread as it some people portray it to be. But of course that opens up the question if they are getting spanked the right way!

I like to be spanked with different intensities - depending on how aroused I am at a particular point in time. Honestly, spanking alone will not get me hot and wet. It has to be after I'm horny. Otherwise, spank me and I might just whack you on the head with a frying pan. (We mothers tend to have a lot of weapons at our disposal - sharp, blunt but all hard and able to cause serious injury!)

Missus Singapore out!

THE BLOWER IN ME

I suppose I've very much a blower. There are no two ways about it. It never used to be hard for me to go down on a guy. I'm however, not sure where this began to take root. Some friends joke that you might find some answers by the way you took off a lollipop or icicle from the stick as a child.

If I recall, I was more of a licker than a sucker. I certainly didn't blow on it if that's what you're wondering. There is the other possibility to consider - that some of us are just born with  it!

My first experience was seamless. We fondled, he got hard and I went down on it. Just like that. No need for him to subtly nudge me southwards. I just went down. And by his own words, it was the best he ever had. But you have to take that with a pinch of salt because we couldn't have been more than 17 then.

I met an old boyfriend a few weeks ago and we started chatting. He was telling me how the guys in his clique of five back then were constantly circulating amongst themselves that if they wanted an 'easy and solid blow' they should check me out. Of course in deeper conversation, he discovered that I had actually blown all of them, whilst I was going with him. Good laugh I had. He wasn't too thrilled though.   

Perhaps there was some connection with balloons because that was something I would always love to play with when I was young. I didn't mind blowing them (hated tying them though). At a school part once, I volunteered to blow all 40 balloons and did so without winking an eye (or in this case, losing my breadth).  After that I became known as the 'official class blower'. We didn't know any better then as kids but there is some irony there, you must admit.



Maybe it was my youthful exposure to porn, or should I say blue movies as it was commonly referred to then. I still remember one of the first movies I watched was a silly flick entitled Heaven Blows. Of course Heaven was the main actress in the movie and no prizes for guessing what she was good at.

So after much pondering, I'm still no closer to finding the root of where it all began. The nature-nurture debate continues.

Missus Singapore out!

DON'T STAY LATE IN THE OFFICE

Here is something I found quite amusing. It's from Maria from Croatia. She's also sent me a pdf file of 20 pages of jokes. How sweet is that? Thanks Maria.

The figures don't lie!

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion: Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral: Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

Missus Singapore out!

SEX BITS - THE ANIMAL CONNECTION

Here are some interesting sex bits sent in by Carlo from Veracruz in Mexico. I won't even begin to question any of them but it makes for an interesting real.

FACT 1: Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.

MS: I used to be like that 20 years ago. Now its only half that number!

FACT 2: Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It’s called parthenogenesis.

MS: If only humans can do it, we would have a valid excuse when we have to explain the belly hump to our parents.

FACT 3: Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

MS: That explains why they always seem to attack voluptuous women wearing wet see-through Ts in the movies.

FACT 4: Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

MS: It never mentioned if they were dreaming about it whilst laying under a big shady tree for 18 hours a day while the female is out hunting.

FACT 5: Snakes have two sex organs.

MS: It does make a menage a trois so much easier to organise, doesn't it.

FACT 6: A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

MS: No wonder Porky always stammers and looks stoned.

Missus Singapore out!

CYBERSUCKS

I've often wondered the draw of online sex. I suppose for a man, to know that a woman on the other side has only a g-string on, with her fingers exploring herself, that might be better than having no sex at all. But seriously, do you really think the woman is really doing as she says she is? She is probably just playing along to see how far he would go.

Some women (well, most women) do enjoy it when they have their egos fanned. Yes, we do have it but not to the extent how it manifests in men. To know that she is able to get someone all hot and sweaty, I suppose, can provide some returns.

For me though, cybersex is just not my cup of tea. It does nothing for me. Give me the real thing anytime. Even phonesex is higher up the list for me - being able to hear a real voice. But still, I get bored easily.

I suppose it has to do with me being able to get real sex anytime I want. For those who can't, I guess that is as close as they can get to seeing any action.

If my significant other travels, which he often has to, I'd rather bury myself in a book than subject myself to all sorts of infantile attempts to get me aroused. Perhaps I'm missing something so if any of you care to enlighten me on the impact of cybersex, please do so.

Missus Singapore out!

ASIANS MORE ROMANTIC?

Asians more romantic says Mr & Mrs Smith’s sexier-than-sex survey

According to Mr & Mrs Smith, the world's leading boutique hotel experts on romantic weekends and risqué retreats, this seems to be the case. In all honesty, this came as quite a big surprise to me.

But apparently, they carried out quite a big survey of Australasians (Australians and New Zealanders) and Asians. So this is really interesting.

It claims that Asians are luckier in love. Forty-one% of Asians said there was enough romance in their lives, while only 34% of Australasians shared that sentiment.

Going out for casual drinks is still the activity of choice for the nerve-wracking first date. Interestingly, more Asians than Australasians are open to a sexy hotel stay to check out their potential partners. 22% of Asians chose this over a day at the beach or going to see the latest film.

Another point revealed that Asians take their sexy weekends more seriously than Australasians. According to the survey 45% of Asians had dashed off for a romantic rendezvous four times or more in the past year, while 63% of Australasians had taken only two or less tantric time-outs in that same period.

The only thing that Asian's fell behind their Australasian counterparts was when it came to one-night-stands. Some 41% of Asians had never had a one-night-stand while 72% of Australasians admitted to hooking up with a stranger.

While I do agree that we still lack behind many Western-type societies, I am a little skeptical about the figures. I think it is much higher that 41%. I did a similar survey for a local magazine years ago and it found that up to 65% or respondents actually had a one-night stand.

The underlying message of this survey seems to suggest that Asians are more romantic. But romance is something that is very subjective. How do you tell what appeals across the board because sometimes, couples find romance in ways that does not involve heading out to the beach at night or to a hotel. Moreover, the age group I feel also plays a big part. 

Missus Singapore out!

MS BLOG GUEST - A TONY GUN (PART 2)

Here is part two of the interview with Tony.

MS: So Tony, tell us, has anyone ever approached because of your dick?

T: Well, I remember in 2007, I was in this club in Hanoi with a group of friends. This pretty local girl approached me after I caught her staring at my groin. For some reason, I had a hard on. So anyway, we started talking and then slow dancing. Things were getting a little hot and we began fondling each other. I recall when her hand rolled over my dick, she suddenly started to grab it really hard - up and down as if checking if it was for real or something. She then asked me straight out if she could see it! Her English was not too bad.

MS: Okay. Then what happened?

T: So we went outside. There was a nearby garden and we found a quite area. I pulled it out and she took it in her hand. I expected her to stroke it - which she did. I expected her to suck on it - which she didn't. Instead, she ran back into the club shouting out to her friends. Next thing I knew, she returned with three other girls. Astonishingly, they took turns touching it. I was saying wow, this was my night - sex with four Vietnamese babes. But then they mumbled to themselves in Vietnamese and then the girl I was with turned to me to say thank-you before walking off with her friends.

MS: So no sex?

T: She was just interested in sharing with her friends what she had discovered. I was puzzled at first but then felt like a fool soon after.

MS: So what about the good stuff?

T: Well most of the time, the girls are amazed but it is a different story when it comes to sex. They will play with it, suck it but become weary when I am about to slip it into them. Of course there was this one girl who loved it but I had to break it up with her because she was so obsessed with it that she threatened to break up my marriage. At the time, I was still married. But she had an awesome body and could take my whole length.

MS: Are you kidding? The whole nine inches?

T: Well, yes. She was one of the rare ones. Usually, I only get about 2/3s of it in. So to feel the whole thing against a warm and moist pussy wall was awesome.

MS: Do you realise that many men would envy you?

T: I know but they shouldn't. It's all the hype from porn. Sex is only for a while. For the rest of the day you have to carry the darn thing around and I do sometimes get cramps in the muscles around my dick. I'm serious.

MS: I've always wondered. Do you get a headache when you have a hard-on?

T: (Laughs) No. I've had many girls ask me that. They think that because a lot of blood goes there, I feel light-headed or something.

MS: How many women have you had sex with? I don't mean stroking or sucking on it.

T: Should I add you too? (Laughs) Well, about 17. Is that a lot?

MS: It won't be appropriate for me to answer that. But I honestly expected more.

T: I think it is a misconception that a guy with a big dick has lots of sex with many women. It also doesn't mean that once you have a big dick you are a stud in bed. I had to learn how to use it. Initially, as I mentioned, I was too conscious of it and did not know how to use it properly. At the end of the day, I think it really has to do with skill. Even if I had a smaller dick now, I think with the skills I have picked up (thanks to you), I will feel confident pleasing a woman.

MS: Tony, thanks for joining us on 'Missus Singapore gets intimate with...'

T: It was my pleasure. I'm actually having a hard-on now.

MS: Yes, I can see that. I suppose it has something to do with me. So, is there anything I can do about it?

T: (Takes off his trousers)......

Missus Singapore out!

TAKING CONTROL

From my experience, I've noticed that many men want to control their women but secretly want another woman to take control of them. I cannot begin to count the number of emails from female readers who have men who control them.

But interestingly, many of these women also mentioned that when they changed their strategy in bed - taking control - they get the full attention of their partners. I don't find this out of the ordinary simply because men are like that by and large.

When men (or many women for that matter) are able to control things, boredom often sets in because they become easily distracted once the challenge of controlling their partner dissipates.

Although I feel that taking control is great, it should not be a regular thing or else, once again (you guessed it) the man will get bored with that. Spontaneity and mystery keeps them guessing and that in itself will get his attention. For how long, it really depends on you.

I'm really not one to subscribe to the idea that if there is really love, it will forever stay fresh. Hogwash! You got to work your butt off in any relationship.

Keep it exciting and keep it spicy.

Missus Singapore out! 

WHAT WOMEN WANT

So, alas you know know what women want? But serious for me, I prefer the deed. I'm not too hung up on something that money can buy. I go for the priceless stuff.

Missus Singapore out!

HEADLINE NEWS!

To Die For!

It was reported in a Tampa Bay newspaper that a young man from Ottawa, Ontario, had died while masturbating. (Yeah, I had that same expression too but it's not what you think.)

Apparently, after classes at a local college, he went home and prepared himself to masturbate. But it wasn't as simple as stripping and lying in bed or heading to the bathroom.

Instead, he strung a rope through an eye hook he'd driven into the floor, looped it around his neck in a way that allowed him to control the tension, and threaded it through a second eye hook, which he'd affixed to the archway above his head. Then he took the free end in his left hand and pulled.

The next day, the tall, blue-eyed man 23-year old failed to show up at the movie theater where he worked part-time.

When police discovered his slumped naked body a day later, they also noticed something else nearby - a laptop that was showing porn. The coroner's report - death by autoerotic asphyxiation (AeA).

This is certainly not new. Years back, actor David Carradine was found dead in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room, reportedly with a set of cords lashed around his neck, hands, and genitals. In 1997, INXS frontman Michael Hutchence died in a Sydney hotel; he was found naked, kneeling against a door, with a belt nearby.

In both cases, suicide and murder were among the initial theories but later, it was reported that both weren't seeking death or pain but pleasure. While many see this as only affecting an obscure minority, according to an FBI estimate, between 500 and 1,000 Americans die from AeA (mostly men). That's comparable to the average number of homicides in New York City every year.

MS: I've heard of this and when I was in Europe years ago, a couple friend of ours had actually showed us how it was done. Of course being a coward to that sort of thing, I didn't get involved. Besides, I was not that stupid. But honestly, even though they said it was not dangerous when it was done with someone else, I beg to differ. I mean, at any point in time, having a rope around your neck, strung from the ceiling is always asking for trouble isn't it?

Missus Singapore out

MS ADVISORY - SIMPLE MESSAGE

This was one of the earlier safe-sex ads that was sent in by Bob. He didn't say where he was from but he mentioned that this was actually a common sight in the major cities in Africa during the late 1980s, not long after the global awareness campaigns started.

In my case, the sex education I received from my mother was hardly an education at all. It was more like a warning and there was no mention of AIDS. My mum, a single mum, was a woman of a few words - 'I'll beat you if you get pregnant!' or something along those lines and that was it!

Early days, those words would reverberate in my head. But as I grew older, foolishly thinking myself wiser, the draw of sex was overwhelming. I was in a way obsessed with it. Well, look how I turned out?

Anyway, I am determined not to do the same with my daughter and constantly remind her about safe-sex. With the generation today, it's really asking for trouble when you set rules and regulations or say 'Don't do this' or 'Don't do that!' Chances are, once you turn your back, they are on their backs! So I subscribe to safety first and subtly ingrain in them the value building a relationship outside of sex.

Missus Singapore out!

ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Here is another Q&A that was published in a men's magazine.

Q: What is the thrill of being blindfolded during sex?

MS: Apart from touch, sight is perhaps the most used of our senses during sex. Switch it off and you increase the awareness of other senses which can trigger a whole new set of experiences. Not knowing what is going to happen next can create intense anticipation or the ultimate foreplay if you like.

You can then start to tease each other with feathers, the tongue and my favourite, an ice cube. Start off slow to really build up the excitement but don’t stick to one area too long. Over-stimulation can numb and kill the desired effect. Oh and for some women, it’s also the chance to live their fantasy of making out with a masked stranger.

Missus Singapore out!

SOMETHING FISHY

I've always wondered the draw of fishing and photography - two of the most popular hobbies amongst men. This cartoon, sent in my Cindy, from the UK possibly explains it clearly. Interestingly, Cindy and her husband run a tackle store so she has probably seen it all.

Now when I see a man buy a dildo, I might just think that it may not be for his wife.

See, you always learn something new on Missus Singapore. In fact, Missus Singapore is herself always learning something new. Thanks so much to all of you, my dear readers for opening my eyes to this glorious world.

Missus Singapore out!

HIS ROVING EYES

I had just finished handing over my assignment last week and decided I would spoil myself a little. So I slipped into a Starbucks which was not far from where I was. For a change, I thought that I’d just go down a gear or two to unwind a little. After all, it had taken a good three weeks to complete this latest assignment, so I figured that I had earned it.

Anyway, I was watching the world go by when two young women took a table next to mind. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but then, I suddenly found myself eavesdropping on their conversation. Don’t blame me. My job after all, requires that I have a sharp ear. Granted that I was there to chill, I could but help be drawn to their conversation – one that struck a chord with me.

Apparently, one of them was complaining to the other about how her boyfriend of three years never stops looking at other women. I am quite sure ‘Checking them out from head to toe’ were the words she used. Anyway, she was clearly getting annoyed with that.

That got me thinking about several of my girlfriends who had expressed similar observations with their significant others. So I felt there was a story there. After all, when does Missus Singapore not have something to say about anything?

The thing I notice about many women is that they think once they are in a relationship, it should close the door to a man’s instinctive attraction to the opposite sex. He is in a relationship, he’s not dead!

Truth be told, women in relationships do check men out too although I must add that we tend to be more subtle. Tactful would be a better choice of word methinks. Guys on the other hand eye boobs and asses like a tiger eyes its prey – it’s that simple.

Accept that it’s a reflex action of a man – often something he cannot do much about. Surely he can learn to be more discrete but more often than not, it is often harmless. But the arguments that result from this may not be so harmless to the relationship.

If arguments break out because of this, it says a lot about how comfortable you are with each other. It really points to a flimsy foundation – in which case you have a lot more to worry about that you man checking out another woman.

You might also have to look at your state of emotional security. What are you afraid of? That you will lose him to the other women? Let’s get real. You can lose a man to anyone, even someone he may not have ogled at. The risks are always going to be there, today, tomorrow or twenty years down the road.

If you are worried about him ogling other women, imagine what such paranoid thoughts will evolve into. Let it manifest and it will surely destroy your relationship and more importantly, it will destroy an important part inside of you. Being consumed by jealousy is what it is - your like will be affected and you will find yourself wondering what he is up to whenever you are not together.  

If it really annoys you that much, I suppose you could do one of several things. Firstly, try commenting on the woman he is looking at to let him know you know. If may make him conscious that he will learn to be more discrete the next time.
Secondly, you might try ogling or drooling at men in front of him. Ah, the old principle of ‘tit-for-tat’. If he asks, mimic what he says when you ask him about his ogling habits and he will surely learn from the familiarity of that episode.

Thirdly – come to a quick realisation that it has nothing to do with you. It’s just him. Hold your own. Nagging jealously about his habits will not go down well. It not only shows how low your self-esteem is but it simply lacks class. Spend more time looking at your own level of self-confidence rather that picking on something that is not going to change anytime soon. Playful jibes are fine though.

Women need to understand how a man processes visual stimuli (READ: Checking out other women). They need to, not necessarily to the extent that they have to lick whipped cream off their bodies or end up having mind-blowing, passionate sex an hour later. It's just like one of those unsolved mysteries where you can watch documentary after documentary and by the end of it, the narrator asks something like ‘how it happens, we will never know.’ So there is no point trying to stop it. If he wants to, he will.

You want to know what your partner is like so this would help you understand and prepare yourself for what is ahead. See him in his element - good or bad but keep your head held high and your dignity intact. Trust me, at the end of the day, you will be in his arms and the woman he ogled at, a distant memory, that is assuming you haven't already stabbed him in the heart with a blunt object.

Missus Singapore out!

CUM CONNOISSEUR

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor of the elevator car.

The brunette bends down for a closer look, and states, very matter of fact," It looks like cum."

The redhead stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her nose, and proclaims "Yes, and it smells like cum"

The blonde stoops down yet closer, puts the tip of her finger into the puddle, touches it to her tongue and exclaims, "Well, it's nobody from our building!"

Joycie from Greenway, CN, Thanks for this and being so sporty about it seeing that you're a natural blonde. Well, they say blondes have move fun but apparently, they are also blessed with an amazing sense of taste.

Missus Singapore out!

OUT WITH IT

Here is the latest confession. Although I've possibly got enough to last for a year, do keep them coming. Sometimes, it just helps to share your darkest and deepest secrets. Keeping them to yourself can use up a lot of energy which you could otherwise attribute to more productive endeavors. Besides, it's downright selfish if you don't share them and absolutely criminal if they are juicy yet.

Missus Singapore out!

"I was never the spontaneous type when I was in college years ago. But I remember one time, our college opened till late so that students could have a quite place to study for the year-end exams.

I usually hung out with a group of friends. Three girls and two other guys. One of the girls, Julia and one guy Lionel, were an item while the rest of us were just contented with our juvenile teases of their relationship.

Anyway, we were preparing for an Econs paper, which was my pet subject. Lionel was weak in it and although Julia was pretty decent with the subject, she did not trust herself enough to coach him. So I volunteered.

The thing was, the group had finally decided to call it a night so they left me and Lionel alone. It started off normally and we were alone in the reading room located in the library. There were still quite a number of students in the main hall of the library outside but otherwise, we were alone in this room.

An hour later, we decided to take a break and started talking about lots of unrelated things. I'm not sure how but sex soon came into the conversation. We shared what we enjoyed about sex and midway, I could see that he was trying hard to hide an erection. I don't what happened to cause us to start fondling and kissing - possibly from all the sexual tension of being alone together for so long.

So I reached out and began to rub him while his hands disappeared under my skirt. I was wet as hell while he was as hard as a rock. I could feel him trying hard to resist but when I unzipped his trousers and pulled out his dick, he was lost under my control.

His reciprocated move was to reach and pull down my panty. I quickly rushed to the door to check it was locked and returned to straddle across his hard dick. He slipped it in and it was pure heaven. He had quite a bit of stamina and our intended quickie took about 1/2 to complete. We were not really adventurous in terms of positions but under those circumstances, my riding him was enough satisfaction for both of us

I wasn't a virgin then but I've never done anything so dangerous and risky before. I have to admit that that ranks as one of the most exciting things I have ever done.

Oh, incidentally, we never did tell Julia about it. In fact, while they were going, I met Lionel every fortnight or so. I've since loss touch with all of them since leaving college but I heard that they got married. Now as a mother of two young children, I suppose it is in everyone's best interest that this remains a secret."

Huimin, CCK, Singapore

DIG @ WISE GUYS

All men have their egos but what really turns me off are those who are just too full of themselves. You know the wise guys - not the ones who are actually smart or cool - but those that think they are cool but fail miserably at it.

I know this one guy, boyish type who works out his skinny body to hide his ribs, has hairdressers to style his hair which doesn't help much because he isn't much of a looker to begin with.

It may sound bad but perhaps you would think he might have a hidden reason to seem so full of himself, a decent dick perhaps? Hard luck!

Now mind you, here is a guy who would send messages 'taunting' me with his 'Big Tool'. The first time it was interesting but after seeing it for real, it didn't impress. Don't these guys ever know that a woman will actually see it, feel it and choose not to do anything with it?

Some men can be so misinformed, dumb even.

His idea of 'big' was also my introduction to one of the smallest dicks I'd ever seen. Granted he does appear to have a big head, the truth is, it appears that way in relative terms to a shaft that is short and thin.

And the sex? Let's just say a root canal would definitely sound more appealing.

Oh when will they ever learn - if you ain't got it, just shut up! More often than not, humility will go down best with a woman. These perceptions really stem from their own inadequacies which they are trying hard to veil.

My friend Sharon had the same experience with this guy. Being a self-professed nymph, she never turns down the chance to sleep with anyone who so much as gives her eye contact. But she did live to regret it and has become more selective since.

Her hopes were raised when this guy began to talk about what he can do to her in bed, his attributes, the whole 9-and-a-half yards, etc. However, as it turned out, he had a disappointing dick, according to her standards. She got dressed and left shortly after making some excuse.

How wrong I was to think that no nymph would give up a free screw.

The bottom line is not to be fooled by these sweet-talking, wise-guy sorts - usually flashy dressers trying to pass off as a masculine male (but fail) or proclaim to be metrosexual.

For a woman, all you really need to do to uncover this species is to hold a conversation and you will find it really easy to filter them off. They tend to be serial liars too. 

Their specific goal is to get a lay and their minds are programmed as such, so when the topic of conversation shifts to something intelligent, they mumble nonsense to keep up.

Of course if you are in it to use and play with the fella, have your fill. I could see how for a cougar like me, it could provide amusement. You can get him to do what you want and when the novelty dies, send him packing like I do. Feed them with false notion that affirms their opinions of themselves and in no time, they will be putty in your hands. 

Needless to say, not all men are this way. In fact the majority are fine. What I'm saying is just to be weary of those who talk themselves up as if they are God's gift to women. Believe me, they may not say it openly but you can certainly pick it up.

Thank goodness I only encounter such men rarely but when I do, I thank my lucky stars that he is merely an object of my amusement (which I can dispose of anytime) and not a life partner!

Sex shouldn't be filled with such complexities and politics. It's human nature - so let's just be honest about it. You'll be surprised how much that could change your sex life!

Missus Singapore out!

OPEN SETTLEMENT

Thanks James for this great cartoon. I wish the world would a place like this where people jump at the opportunity to make love instead of finding a reason for conflict. If only we can make peace with each other and settle things without going to court? What a beautiful world this would be!

Missus Singapore out!

MS BLOG GUEST - A TONY GUN (PART 1)

I know several of you have been wondering about this guest of mine whom I mentioned sometime back. Well, the delay had to do with him heading overseas for awhile. I needed to get some responses from Anthony and also tried to persuade him to have me use a photo of him.

Unfortunately, he was not keen on having his photo featured but the good news was that he did finally meet me to give me his answers. It took some time for me to transcribe his responses but alas, here they are. Quite interesting I must add. Read on to find out what it's like for a guy who is well endowed. Not quite what many of us expected though.

So without any further delay, here it is.
 

...37-year old Toni, an IT engineer and avid collector of fine wines. He is divorced with a 10-year old daughter and is presently not dating anyone exclusively.

MS: Thank you for agreeing to appear on Missus Singapore Toni.

T: I'm happy to but I hope you understand why I was so against having my photo posted.

MS: No worries. I fully respect your privacy although I have to be honest that I'm really intrigued. Could you perhaps start off sharing with my readers how we first met?

T: Okay. Well, I came across your profile in a swinging website in 2003 or 2004 I think. I was then working for an Australian-based MNC. We started to correspond and in due time became friends. We didn't meet until 2008 when I was posted to Singapore. We met over coffee at Liat Towers if I recall correctly.

MS: Yes, that is right. So getting down straight to the purpose of this interview, tell us about your 'special' physical attributes. I'm sure many women (like myself) would be curious to know.

T: Well, (blushes), I have a 9-inch dick.

MS: That's being modest. Exact figures please. From what I understand, every half-inch matters for a guy when it comes to dick size.

T: Okay, its about 9-and-a-half inches and just about an inch-and-a-half thick.

MS: When did you first realise that you were a little on the long side?

T: I think it was back in secondary school, usually after track practice when we guys used to shower. It was a communal-type of shower. The guys used to tease me about it first. Before that, I never suspected anything. I thought it was normal. Sometime later, a girlfriend of mine told me so but not until after we broke up. We never had sex but were close on several occasions but she backed out when I got erect. 

MS: So you are telling me that girls never wanted to have sex with you because of the size of your dick?

T: Well, yes there were a few but on the whole, I would think that it was a hindrance. At one point, I was really tired of meeting new women for sex.

MS: So you never enjoyed sex?

T: Duh? Of course I did but I was just so tired of the girls making all sorts of excuses not to have sex. Sometimes, I felt that it was like a novelty. They just wanted to see  for themselves if it was for real and then play with it, suck it a little and just focus on giving me a hand-job. Penetrative sex was not a common thing.

MS: That was almost 20 years ago. What about today?

T: Well of course as I got older, I began to understand how to use it to my advantage and thankfully, these days girls are more receptive to big dicks. They don't think it is so freakish as before. I learnt to turn their interest and curiosity in my favour. I suppose I also grew confident and it showed in my outward personality.

MS: For a lack of subtlety, how did you go about 'promoting' you tool?

T: Well I didn't purposely got out to show it off. I just did not feel so conscious about covering it up all the time. But I did have to control my thoughts though. If I get a hard-on in public, it is quite obvious, and as a friend of mine tells me, its rather obscene.

...to be continued.

MS: Watch out for 'A Tony Gun - Part 2', where it all gets more interesting, I assure you. 

Missus Singapore out!

HOT BOD CITY

I really like the new Kylie Minogue video. The song, All The Lovers, was released just a week or so ago but the video really hits the spot. It has a really groovy beat, the kind not unfamiliar to those who listened to lots of music in the early 1990s. In fact, it does appear she is revisiting with her musical roots although the beat, I'm told, has a distinctively underground funk to it.

If only the world were so loving. But reality is that you can't find so many good looking people in one place at any one time. If you could, let me know.

Missus Singapore out!

MEETING OFFLINE

There are just too many swinger websites these days and while the technology has enabled a myriad of new facilities which make it so easy to meet up, one thing remains - the proliferating deceit that comes with it.

I don't know if its an unwritten law working here, one that states "When posting a profile online, always state anything you want and like provided they are not true. This will inevitably boost your profile and you will be assured of more hits and ultimately garner more opportunities to meet new people looking for the same."

The problem is when you do meet, the shit will hit the fan. This cartoon sent in by Karen depicts what usually does happen.

The best way to avoid this scenario is to not put your expectations up too high because often enough, what you read about a person at such sites, is normally far from what you will get.

Missus Singapore out!

THE DRAW OF THE WORLD CUP(S)

If you ever wonder why men are so drawn to watching the World Cup these days, well, it's simple - it has to do with the babes. It's the one opportunity or should I say excuse, to blatantly ogle at scantily clad women. Apparently, it's even better to head to the match and experience it first-hand.

I was watching (okay not really watching but I passed by the TV and a female supporter caught my eye.) She had her boobs literally wanting to play with the 22 boys on the field. Interestingly, the guy beside her was also caught boob watching instead of ball watching before the cameraman panned away.

Now, I am no football fan but with such beautiful South American women baring their equally beautiful tits, how are their players able to concentrate? Apparently, both Argentina and Brazil didn't make it far and the pictures will explain why. How is any man suppose to concentrate on playing the game with such boobs bearing down on him from the stands?

Missus Singapore out!

SHARING FANTASIES

Whenever I fantasise, the sky is no limit. While I enjoy being turned on by a vast amount of thoughts, I don't confine myself to heterosexual activities only.

There are times, I admit, when I fantasize about other women performing oral sex on me or me on them. And I believe that it's perfectly normal. And I share them with my significant other without hesitation. He does likewise and such openness has definitely contributed to us being happy together for more than 20 years.

A friend was telling me the other day how she had a dream about an African American woman doing a 69 with her. She also said that when she woke up, she was extremely wet and decided to get herself off. But thereafter, she felt total guilt. I asked her why and she said that it was not right.  That was it.

She had always found an attraction to women of African origin but admitted that she always kept it in her thoughts. But over the years, it had begun to eat into her and wanted very much to share it with her husband of 10 years.

I told her she should. Two days later, she called me and told me that she mentioned it to her husband and he was so aroused by it that they had it out then and there. It was wild but more importantly, a slew of sharing deep fantasies flowed between the two of them. She admitted that seeing how it had mysteriously brought them closer, she wished she had done it sooner.

Sharing fantasies has its pros and cons but it does bring couples together in ways that other things can't. It's like we all know there is a hidden door to our partner's thoughts and it will always eat into us wanting to know what lies beyond. If it is not opened (or shared) there is always a deep feeling within that we cannot forge that ultimate closeness.

Granted a relationship will not necessarily suffer if you don't share them but it will move onto a different level. The dynamics in the relationship suddenly changes - trust and closeness are enhanced.

Of course to realise these fantasies is another matter altogether. Sometimes it works out while other times, it can be a recipe for disaster. Whether you want to share or realise fantasies, I think it is important to know your partner really well - on a level beyond sex - such as his/her background, ideals, thoughts and of course openness to expressing his/her sexuality. The ultimate goal should be to share as much as possible in order to build strong communication lines that will help in all aspects of the relationship.

Think about it, if you can share deep dark fantasies, secrets or such, talking about anything and everything else will get a lot easier. Talk is so underrated these days. I can assure you, your sex lives will pick up a notch when you can communicate better with your partner.

Missus Singapore out!

SEX POSITION FOR THE WEEK #20

Rear Quickie
This is really a niffy position for us Singaporeans. Taking into consideration that most of us live in tiny apartments with hardly enough room to accommodate anywhere-sex, this one is practical, not just for a quickie but sex itself.

I've heard from a friend working in retail that she has more than several occasions, caught a couple in this very position in a changing room. I gather it would also be great for a quickie in the pub washroom but you would not catch me doing anything like that in a washroom, unless it is in my very own.

I've tried this a few times before when I was working. It was with a young colleague of mine and we did it in the storeroom. It had barely enough room for one person to stretch him arms out so it was kind of a squeeze really. Not even enough room for me to squat and give him a blow.

It's usually fast and furious in this position because for one, its usually done as a quickie. And secondly, its really ideal for a nasty bang. Guys like it, girls love it even more. Oh and for those thinking of joining the mile-high club, this one is a god-sent.

Well folks, this marks the end of the 20 week column. I will be starting something new in due course and I would still welcome all your emails and comments.  Thanks for all your emails and I will be compiling all your votes into the 'Favourite Sex Position for 2010'. Look out for that and as always, I will share my thoughts on the positions too.

Missus Singapore out!

CARS & CHICKS

This is a cheeky ad sent in by Bryan from Montreal. I love fast cars too but personally, a woman and a fast car will never be a great match ever. The reason? I doubt any woman would want something to be as high-maintenance as her.

I remember reading in Woman's Day sometime back about men with fast cars. Apparently, they spend as much, if not more time, on their car then they do their women.

But seriously, have you ever tried making out in one of those sports models? It's really uncomfortable and you always have to be careful with your legs. Footprints on the dashboard will having him skip a heartbeat. Imagine what will become of him if she is a squirter!

Missus Singapore out!

PORN TURNS HER ON TOO!

The debate is over! A US study carried out last year found that women are aroused by pornography. Using eye-tracking technology and questionaires, US researchers found that women do get equally aroused by pornography.

There popular choice of porn include those with story-lines, man and woman (not so much close-ups though), woman and woman and to an equal extent, more men and one woman. But interestingly, it was also found that women on birth control pills did not pay as much attention to genitals as their counterparts who were not using them.

I suppose those on birth control are probably those who were on it because they either had accidents or have given birth - so there is a little resentment in a man's genitals after what they caused!

Also it was found that the least arousing porn scenes include oral sex - something that is significant because men love these scenes most.

For me, I admit that porn has somewhat lost its draw - no thanks to its proliferation on the Internet. There is no more mystery or excitement when you can easily get it unlike before. But one thing remains - I still like those with a storyline to it. Corny or not, like those 70s or 80s flicks, there still outclass what's currently available.  

Missus Singapore out!

CELEBRITY FOR AN HOUR

I got to know this young woman from a press conference last week and she really caught me by surprise when she came up to me to as 'Are you Missus Singapore?'

Now, for someone who doesn't actively publicise my site, that really came as a surprise for me. To address me by my website monicker was certainly intriguing.

In a way I was kinda pleased because I figured at least there was one soul out there who knows about my site. Still, the scant number of photos of me kept me wondering how she recognised me as Missus Singapore.

Curiously, I asked her and she told me that her husband was a frequent visitor to my site and even described the few photos of me that I did post. For a moment, I swear I could see flashing neon lights about my head. My moment of fame.

She even insisted I sign on her notebook with a personal message to her just stir the envy of her husband. She actually offered to buy me dinner with her husband to show that she did actually meet me. Can you imagine the fuss over moi? But I didn't mind. Besides, another free meal was on the cards so why should I care?

I went to bed that night feeling like a star but when I woke up the next morning, the need to clean up my cats' kitty-litter brought me down to earth in a flash. Well, it was good while it lasted.

Missus Singapore out!

CELEBRIDICKS

I really love this! It was sent in by a gal-pal whom I got to know from my blog. Eileen is a regular reader from Nebraska, US. Thanks so much.

It does make you wonder if a guy's dick reflects his personality. Actually, I don't think so because thinking back, eons ago, there was this really hairless guy. Except for his head of hair, he had none elsewhere. His armpits and chest were bare and he had no leg or arm hair.

But by gosh! You had to have a map to navigate through the thick dense forest he had going down there. And this even though he had a decently-sized dick.

Those were the days when pubic hair was the in-thing. Thank god most people subscribe to thinning or shaving these days.

Missus Singapore out!

ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Q: My wife and I travel together regularly and are thinking of joining the mile-high club. Any suggestions?

MS: I been there a few times when the opportunities arrived but I certainly don't go forcing the issue. Honestly, I’ve accepted from experience that my idea of naughtiness and adventure is certainly not having sex in a plane’s lavatory. It’s really gross in there, not to mention small.

But if you must, get in soon after the seat-belt warning goes off. Make your move when there are distractions (meal-serving) and not during a movie. Enter at minute intervals and use the rear lavatory to avoid the 'walk of shame' back to your seats.

If you have the row to yourselves, you might try to discretely manoeuvre about under a blanket (pretending to cuddle-up). With limited leg-space though, you have to be really flexible to pull it off though. If she has the right attire (loose long skirt with no undies on), that helps. The spoon is ideal although I once saw a couple doing it with the woman fully on-top facing frontwards.

Bottom line, just don’t get caught.

Missus Singapore out!