This is a cool ad from BMW. Not sure about the relevance to the car but still entertaining all the same. Thanks Josephine from Malaysia. I like this and the other videos you sent in.
With regards to the post on the hotel 3sum - yes I enjoyed it and believe it or not, after I posted that story, one of they guy's wives actually contacted me via email.
She recalled her hubby had worked there and just put 2 and 2 together. But anyway, she is cool about it. Will try to see if I can get her to be a guest on 'Missus Singapore gets intimate with...' or maybe just interview her for the hell of it. Would be interesting.
Finally, here is the interview with Jessica, a foreigner who now works as a call-girl in Singapore. I met her several years back when she and a friend, interestingly tried to pick me up! I actually mentioned the occasion in a previous post back in 2006.
So I met her again late last year and after several subsequent discussions over tea and the phone, she finally decided to be interviewed. Her English has improved enormously by the way but due to privacy issues, she only agreed to do this provided no frontal face shots were taken.
...31-year-old Jessica, from China who plies her trade in Joo Chiat, a food and sex-trade enclave in Singapore’s east.
MS: Jessica, is that your real name?
J: I actually don’t have an English name but when I first started out in this job in 2005, my boss suggested I use a name easy for clients to remember. It was the only name I could think of at that time.
MS: There is so much talk about girls from China being forced to work in Southeast Asia. Did anyone force you?
J: No. I found out from a few friends that they were doing this in Singapore and when they came back, they were living good lives and sharing all their experiences. I wanted that too.
MS: So do you know of or heard of any fellow Chinese girls who were forced into it?
J: Well not in Singapore. All of the other girls where I work are really happy doing what they do – mainly because the income allows us to save a lot. We can buy things for ourselves and send money and nice things to our families back home.
They have freedom and so far, no one has been cheated. Three of us stay together in a rented apartment now. But we all know that Indonesia is very dangerous for us.
MS: When was your first sex experience?
J: I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. But we broke up two years later when he went to the capital to study. After that, just a few guys here and there but all for fun, not for money. But I realised then that I really enjoyed sex.
MS: So tell us Jessica, what was your first client like?
J: He was a Chinese man from Singapore. I think he was very young, early 20s. His friends paid for him to come and experience sex for the first time. So I was his sex teacher (laughs). He didn’t know anything about control so after stroking him for around 10 minutes, he came.
Normally, we are told to stop once a man cums and if he wants to cum again, it will be an extra charge. But I felt so sorry for this guy that I decided to give him a second round – to at least let him feel what it’s like to be in a woman. He was not a bad fuck actually! Since then, I have serviced over 600 clients but many are regulars.
MS: To be continued. Come back again for part two when Jessica talks about her best, worst and most unusual experiences, including the time when she went multiracial.
“We were not allowed to see clients outside but this guy was cute and treated me nice. So one off day, I went to a bachelor party. He offered me $1,500 which was a lot of money! But when I got there, I realised that I had to fuck nine other men. I wanted to walk out until I saw them. Deep down it was my fantasy to have an orgy with so many different races at one time!” - Jessica
Imagine wearing a condom made from animal intestines? Well, according to several of my male friends, the thought of it is reason enough not to want to have sex. To that regard, I guess it served its purpose. After all the best prevention for unwanted pregnancy is not to have sex at all!
The photo is of a condom from the 15th Century.
I wonder what women used to say back then before sex? These days it's probably 'Baby, you got your rubber?' or something along those lines. Back then, it had to be something like 'Honey, you got your bladder on?'
But seriously, what about the women? How must they have felt with that in them? It was also known to break out into little pieces during the act. The whole idea might have been repulsive which probably helped with birth control or encouraged more people not to wear them - so an explosion of unwanted pregnancies.
Felice, 32, is a plus sized woman and proud of it. She's a regular visitor to my blog and occasionally we exchange emails. She sent in this photo which she thought was quite interesting. I like this woman because unlike many other plus sized women, she knows that her extra weight does carry many health risks.
She has been trying to lose some weight and has succeeded in shedding around 8kg over the last six months - not as much as she wanted but still a move in the right direction I feel. She tells me she is now 75kg. Her target - 58kg.
I like this woman because unlike other plus sized woman who always say they are happy the way they are, this one is certain that being overweight does not do her any favours.
She writes in one email, "It's quite depressing although you try to put on a smile. Health-wise, you are like a ticking time bomb. I still do love sex but being so heavy drains you of stamina and you often find yourself panting and unable to do the things in bed you wanna do."
While she is aware that there are avenues where men have a leaning towards bigger woman and indeed she has been there but very often, she claims, most of these men are just curious or weird.
"They have fleeting fantasy to fuck us just for the experience. It's like a novelty to them."
Anyway, Felice will be one of the next people I interview on 'Missus Singapore gets intimate with...' Look out for that. But next will be the long awaited interview with the hooker from China who is working in Singapore. It was hard to tie her down and after several failed attempts to meet her, I finally got her although she is strongly opposed to having a photo posted. I guess we can always be choosers and moreover, it was the only way she would agree to it. So look out for that.
Hot from a recent post about men preferring sports on TV to sex, one reader Jim (not sure from where), mentioned that he would never give up on any opportunity to have sex should his wife want it while he is watching sports on TV.
Hallelujah! Good to know there are men like you!
So women, take note, all is not doomed. However, judging by the number of emails from women saying how true it is, I suppose finding a man like Jim will not come easy. If any of you are out there, give us a shout won't you. I've got a load of women who are asking me where to find such a man! LOL!
Here is another from my column in a local men's magazine.
Q: How can we ‘loosen ourselves’ for role-play?
Reply: No need for complicated story-lines or characters. Costumes, props and acting talent are optional. Simply assume a new sexual persona - if you’re normally dominant, let her control and direct things the way she wants to. I doubt you’ll mind too much!
Model/photographer, boss/secretary, professor/student, police/robber, prison warden/inmate or actor/director, go with characters and scenarios you both are familiar with.
The beauty of role-playing is you can be anyone you want to and live out your wildest fantasies. As you gradually push your sexual boundaries, you’ll both soon discover the possibilities are endless. Sure, you’ll lose your inhibitions but sex is always so much more fun without them, don’t you think?
Any woman who has a sports-loving partner knows that come Saturday nights, their man becomes a slave to the goggle-box. No thanks to a full night of live telecasts. Let's just say it's easier to walk to the store naked without getting noticed.
Here's a nice little cartoon sent in by a reader (no name) which may hopefully get guys thinking twice before ignoring their woman the whole night. We may just take things into our own hands.
I met a friend last week who told me she had just dumped her boyfriend. Just six months ago she couldn't stop talking about this stud boyfriend. Indeed he was one - great bod, nice hair, well a nice package. Can't say too much about his personality since I only met him once and we didn't talk much. Anyway, I figured they were the perfect match.
Agnes, 43, was always one who would insist that she just couldn't get enough sex and wanted someone who could fuel her insatiable need for the nasty. So when Elliot, 33, a former male model and Aussie of Moroccan mix, came along sexy and all, it seemed like a match made in sexual heaven.
So much for that notion.
Apparently, he (and I quote) "couldn't fuck to make his mama proud!" Doesn't sound quite right but that's how Agnes put it. All the meat and bulk on his body didn't mean anything for his ability or lack of, in bed. "He sucks!" She would repeat herself constantly.
So when Agnes later introduced her new boyfriend, I was kinda taken aback. He was 44 - wasn't fat or anything like that, but neither was he quite a hot bod. Now for as long as I've known her, she always had her hand around the bulging biceps of some hot stud. So this was totally out of character for her.
When I asked, she said she was tired of being disappointed by guys, whose bodies promise so much bang and fire but end up just smoking the place with utter disappointment.
I suppose weighing in with my experience, I have to agree.
Young woman will probably be swooning over such men - you know the kind - tall, with a carved body and a six-pack to show for their long hours at the gym. But as you mature, you start to realize that what matters i.e. good screwing, is not assured.
While it may be nice to see and touch, I'm not really taken in by all those false indications of masculinity the way I define it. I used to but not anymore. Even the male models these days - while they appear all tone and tight, they do look a tad too feminine for my liking and I've worked with many like this. Where are all the tough, sporty (not necessarily muscular) manly men?
Take Agnes's new man - admittedly not a head-turner by any measure, but he is (I'm told) a total animal in bed who leaves her panting and begging for him to stop. Coming from her, that is really something. She has since turned her attention to those who can provide quality in bed and not quantity in muscle mass.
For me, it's a turn off - not so much by the muscles but by the raised egos that accompany such men who think so highly of themselves. It is usually a package - work out in the gym, get a super bod and become a total moron. Granted not all are, I'll go out on a limb to say that most are.
Well, at least the birds are not the only ones using these public statues for target practice anymore. Thanks Joe, from Adelaide, Australia. (PS: Hope your mother-in-law moves out soon!)
As for me getting the finger in public, I guess I've never been that brave. The closest was during a bus journey home from work with a guy who worked in the same office building as me.
We messed around several times before after office hours in his office but nothing more. But one day, he decided to take a bus ride home with me and we sat at the rear. It wasn't really packed but neither was the bus empty either. However, we were the only ones at the back seat.
I guess I was just feeling a little frisky when I decided to slip his hand under my short skirt. He didn't have trouble finding his way but it certainly helped that I was soaking wet with the anticipation and excitement.
A few minutes later, I found myself fighting hard not to cum but it was a losing battle.
Do you know how difficult it is for a woman not let herself go when she is close to cumming? Well, I certainly didn't until that point. I almost bit off my tongue and my eyes were close to popping out of its sockets. It's easy when you can stretch back, close your eyes and gasp with an open mouth. I remember tearing and succumbing to one loud moan of pleasure, which some people in front turned in response to it. But then I pretended to cough a few times to cover it up. No harm done but it was the most exhausting bus ride I ever took.
To follow up on my previous post, here is another benefit of swallowing. Birth control! Just in case some of you still live under a rock, the white stuff won't make it alive past your stomach.
Although now I'm an addict for it, I wasn't always so. In my impressionable days, I remember being bombarded with notions of why a girl should swallow. "It's good for the skin", "It's rich in protein", "It helps keep the body toned", etc. You name it, it seemed guys always had reasons why we gals should swallow. Of course they would have us think they only had our health in mind as they wagged their eager tools against our zipped lips.
I remember the first time I felt a little adventurous and wanted to sample if for myself. It was salty, bitter even, and didn't stay long enough in my mouth for me to enjoy any of the supposed benefits. A bad start I suppose because for a long time, I never wanted to have any taste of it. In fact, I was always mindful when a blow was underway. I would constantly be looking for signals that he was about to cum and well, basically, just took cover when he did.
What turned things around was this squirter of a guy I met. I was quite comfortable with guys just cumming on my body. So I wasn't particularly worried by this guy since all the others would normally just dribble out on my tummy - a rather anti-climatic climax but none the less, I didn't mind as long as no jizz ever got anywhere near the vicinity of my face.
So anyway, this guys screws me right - our first time with each other - and not really anything to crow about. But as he is about to cum, he pulls it out of me and I expect the routine dribble but then whoosh, whoosh and whoosh again.
Three big sprays smack on my face. Well actually two hit me on the forehead (hard hits mind you) as I gasped in shock. With mouth open, the third streamed straight into it before I could register any protest. How was I to know he was a power squirter?
But that incident turned things around for me. In an instant, I was hooked because he just tasted so yummy! The rest they say, is history or rather the making of a future cum-addict.
The reason for the post title has to do with those guys who claimed to know the benefits of swallowing. They may actually have something there - if a recent scientific study reported in CNN is anything to go by.
In that ten-year study involving over 15,000 women who performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not.
I can just see guys rushing to print the report and sticking it on their refrigerators. Well, I am not convinced by the validity of this for several reasons. The report never mentioned if there were any females on the team of researchers. For all you know, it was just a bunch of frustrated guys, conspiring over a beer at the local bar to find ways to get their wives to swallow.
But seriously, whether the study carries any semen or not, it really doesn't matter to me because like anything I do in life, I do it for the love of it.
This was an ad which was rather controversial in some parts of the world. The video is below, if you like to view it.
It's a little graphic and dishes the message rather harshly. Still, is there any other way to let people know that AIDS is a killer and is lurking around all the time?
So unless you really, really, really know and trust your partner really well (who does?), use a rubber!
Some years ago, I wrote an article for a woman's magazine about colour dressing and it's effects on men. I totally forgot about it until I heard about a recent survey on a local radio station today.
During my research, I elicited the help of three other girlfriends. We carried it out over a two-month period (6 outings in total), where we patronised the same place on different days - each of us taking turns to wear different coloured dresses. We also took great pains to be consistent with our hair, make-up and behaviour on the night just to make sure that no one gained an unfair advantage.
At any one time, the four of us took turns to wear a blue, black, green and red dress. From the onset, we knew that green and blue had a rather tame effect but there was some disagreement when it came to black and red.
So we all sat at the bar, open to approach. I based things on the number of times men came up to us. The figures do tell a story.
Hit Count
1. Red Dress - 21 hits
2. Black Dress - 16 hits
3. Blue Dress - 8 hits
4. Green Dress - 3 hits
So the red dress clearly stood out as a man-magnet. Men appeared more daring, vocal and let their egos ooze when they approached any of us who wore red for the evening. It's almost as if they were desperate to impress. One of my girlfriends had a great analogy - She said, 'It was like they wore their balls on their chins.'
What was initially surprising was the high number of hits that the black dress mustered. But on retrospect, it might have been due to my friend June who didn't wear a bra that evening. You see, she is one of those who has hard protruding nipples - which I guess gave her an unfair advantage. She mustered 8 hits on that night alone.
But on a more scientific approach, it does make some measure of sense. It's what scientists and anthropologists attribute to the 'red-sex link' - part of our biological set-up - where female primates tend to display red on certain areas of their body when they are in mating mode. This attracts the males to them.
While men, I feel, always want to give the impression that they are sophisticated beings, who are thoughtful and not responsive to surface traits of a woman, to some extent, their preferences can be considered primitive.
Interestingly, this study of mine showed that men have a preference to women in red but it also demonstrated (as with my friend June), that if there is one thing that can overpower the effects of a red dress, its showing your nips! So if you really don't have a red number but want to elicit a male audience, then let your nips show through.
This was a joke sent in by Marco Lovens from Melbourne, Australia. He was actually kind enough to send me over 20 jokes - all about mailmen. No surprise considering that he used to be one before. Enjoy.
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
Finally, at the fourth house a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee met him at the door. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
MS: Sounds very much like a time when a very insecure old boyfriend told me he didn't want to see me anymore in revealing clothes. Instead I wore them for a friend of his and I was rewarded with a good banging that my ex couldn't muster. Moral of the story - there are benefits to being obedient and taking things literally!
I find it really interesting - the top searches that have brought readers to Missus Singapore. The top five searches, in order of frequency, are as follows:
1. Singapore Porn/ Porn Sg - This ain't no porn site!! 2. MILFs In Singapore - That's me I guess. 3. Blow Jobs Singapore - I do write a bit about it but only because so many of you ask me to. :-) 4. Safe sex toys - Well, I suppose there are quite a few sex toy reviews 5. Hot Singapore Women - Me, me that's me!
Ok, while the last one is quite flattering, I'm not sure how to perceive the others. I reckon in today's context, being considered a MILF can be construed as a compliment. However, I'm a little confused how my site ended up under the porn searches. Perhaps all you need is the word 'pron' mentioned in your blog and its classified as such.
It just goes to show you that these search engines don't really know what they are searching for. So it can really be misleading what these search engines sometimes deliver, very much like the photo below.
After much biased deliberation, I've decided to shamefully accept all search results as compliments. LOL.
I hosted a similar poll three years ago and the latest results seem to concur with the trend. It the results speak of any pattern, it's that people are apparently only getting slightly more promiscuous.
In the 2007 poll, 25% cited having had only one partner since they started having sex. This time around it is only 23% of the respondents who said so. The biggest jump is in the 1-5 group. Previously, 37% fell in that group but it rose to 46% with the latest poll.
I realised after putting up this poll that it somehow failed to reflect the age groups. But I suppose it does give some general indication. Besides, these polls are just for fun really, not to be taken too seriously. Nonetheless, I will give it more thought the next time.
At my end, I guess I don't really fall into any of the groups simply because I've made a note of all the men I've slept with since my very first one. So while my numbers may shock many, I do know who was beside (or on top) me at the time.
Still, compared to the next interview subject in MS GETS INTIMATE WITH, I'm really no where near the numbers she has racked up over the years. But of course she's a working girl, if you get my drift.
It's happening everywhere - divorces are on the rise. I guess in that sense, the fact that my marriage is approaching it's 21st year in June this year, puts me in a rather unique group - firstly, to be married so long and secondly, to have even got married!
Quite a number of my friends are divorced and when I asked them about the reasons behind their split, I get the same old reason - argued far too much for their liking. As for the subjects of their arguments - the usual culprits emerge - disagreements over money, bringing up the children, inequality of responsibilities and the adage old cause - infidelity.
Of course there were two among them who admitted they left because of abuse - one physical and one verbal. I suppose I can understand their reasons for leaving because I certainly won't tolerate abuse in any form.
Coming back to the other divorcee-friends, what I also found out was not surprisingly, that all of them were not enjoying healthy sex lives preceding the time their problems erupted. For some of them, sex had been out of their marital radar for years!
It's what brought them together in the first place - the attraction and interaction culminating in mind-blowing passion. Yet they somehow are oblivious to the fact that it can also keep them together. You have to stroke the flames to keep it going. Yes, it's hard. I know for sure. But the longer you leave it on the shelf, the more dust it gets hidden under.
You'll hear it time and time again - that sex isn't everything in a marriage. I fully agree but as long as you have working equipment, it can be a leveler in a relationship.
Differences with money, bringing up the children and responsibilities all come down to one thing - poor communication. Disagreements are normal but too many spend time arguing their point instead of finding a solution, a workable compromise. They are just too uptight.
I suppose with today's generation, people are also so eager to give up and walk away from a marriage when the slightest problem emerges. Patience and tolerance have seemingly been cast aside into the annals of history when it comes to marriage these days.
The problem is that many just have sex for the sake of having it, never bothering to stop and think about the effects it can have on their mental and emotional state. To them, the purpose of sex revolves around consummation, impregnation and manipulation.
Sex is an instinctive trait of our species no doubt - but it's also a powerful communication tool and effective bonding mechanism for couples.
With a strong sexual relationship - in the sense that you don't just have it but explore and talk about it - you somehow immerse yourselves in the proverbial 'same boat' scenario. It becomes an exciting journey you take together as a two-man team.
Whether it is reading erotica and discussing about it over coffee or watching porn together and picking up new tricks, its a refreshing subject that appeals to most of us. It's like going sailing or hiking together but only better.
Let's put it this way, if you can have open discussions about sex, most other things pale in comparison. You somehow feel engaged to parley with your spouse. Nothing else quite has the same ability to support a connection. With lines of communication wide open, you have a better chance of undertaking an open and fair discussion on most other subjects. It just easier to talk to one another.
The bigger picture is that as your relationship irons itself out with a hot sex press, an environment of mutual respect and warmth shared between the two of you will descend on the home. Think of the family. Think of the kids.
Lastly, we are also overlooking the calming effect that sex has on our minds. Now, don't we feel calmer, less stressed and really satisfied with our lives after a big O? Of course if you think you are really not the marrying sort, don't tempt fate and add more to the already-obscene divorce levels. If anything is going to reverse this trend, trust me, sex will!
ENVIRONMENT OFFICER JAILED FOR SOLICITING SEXUAL FAVOURS
SINGAPORE: A former National Environment Agency (NEA) officer, who tried to solicit sexual favours from a 44-year-old woman, was jailed for four months.
Koh Hui Chong had caught the woman's 15-year-old son smoking in a playground in April 2008.
The 43-year-old officer took down the boy's details and told him that he would be booked for under-aged smoking and other offences.
But Koh later contacted the boy's mother and tried to get sexual favours from her in return for not taking any action against her son.
The woman reported Koh to the authorities, and a trap was laid when he turned up at her flat on the 6 May 2008. Three condoms were found on Koh when he was caught.
Koh could have been jailed for up to five years, and/or fined a maximum of S$100,000.
MS: Well it seems like the guy was just doing what most men would be doing - doing what he can to get a free lay. But I salute this guy for at least wanting to practice safe sex!
Reply: The first thing to remember is that nipples are not dough!
Caress nipples the right way and you’ll get our attention for sure. Just don’t start fidgeting on them like you want to mold something. Pressing on them like buttons is also hardly a turn on.
It’s natural to want to pinch them but the difference between pleasure and pain is timing. During foreplay, they’re still tender so treat them as you would a precious stone, blowing soft wet kisses and gently running your fingers over them.
During sex, added pressure excites, as does some light nibbling (with lips). Take your cue from a woman’s body signals and moans. Treat nipples like dough and dough will be the only thing you will be left playing with the next time.
Many subscribe to the philosophy of ‘taking one day at a time’ while others insist on ‘planning for the future’. For many women, mothers mostly, there are other strategies on their list – ‘live life with no cellulite and stretch marks’ and ‘stay in shape’, among others.
It’s always sounds nice – letting one’s inner beauty ooze out for all to see. But the reality of it, in my opinion, is that it works quite the opposite. Get the looks and shape you like and you invariably start to feel better about yourself.
For me keeping in a healthy weight range has never been a problem. Exercise is my drug these days. My frustration has to do with the carving and chiseling the arms, tummy, thighs, breasts and butt. I’ll get the contours one day (I hope) and persistence and patience are certainly worth virtues to possess.
If you’re in a hurry though, and have some spare cash earning little to no interest in the bank, then there are always ways to attain that sought-after body. Indeed there are ample centers these days, where one can get any sort of body contouring procedure done. However, what prompts many to eventually give it a pass has to do with doubts about expertise behind the treatment.
So in order to quell your fears, look for a center that comes with some form of accreditation by a relevant body. An organization like Sono Bello for instance has the experience, expertise and medical know-how required to deliver such treatments safely. It boasts highly trained staff and state-of-the-art equipment to offer safe and seamless treatments for a variety of problem areas. And to top things off, their physicians are all board certified.
It’s also important to know what you want before hand and stick to it. If something else is proposed in addition to what you want, don’t decide then and there. Get as much information as you can (i.e. literature, full cost plus hidden costs) and go home to do your own research. Think carefully about it and try to seek the opinion of others - better if they are in or know the industry.
Always make sure you know the procedure you are aiming for and its purpose. Sono Bello’s Micro Laser Liposuction and Body Sculpting technology for instance, permanently removes fat cells to enhance and shape almost any area of your body. They also have other procedures to tighten loose skin, reduce cellulite and diminish stretch marks. The choices are many.
At the end of the day, the decisions you make will affect you and you only. So it makes good sense to find out as much as you can before you claim your slice of beauty. Exercise or otherwise, when it comes to beauty, doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
Finally, the most important sex resolution for the year, especially for Singaporeans.
#1 - Master Oral Sex
The reason why this is directed to mainly Singaporeans is simply because No.1 - many don't know how to do it properly and No.2 - In their defense - oral sex was outlawed until 2007 - when Parliament blew (no pun intended) the lid off it. Being law-abiding, I guess many just stuck to regular sex.
Oral sex, I mean really great oral sex can sometimes be as good as penetration - for women I mean. The problem is many men don't seem to get it and spend too little time learning the skill. I'd rather not have a guy go down on me if I know he sucks (not in a good way) at it.
If they do it right, i.e. try to avoid making it monotonous or uncomfortable for the woman, then they are in for a treat. The trouble is they don't seem to understand the concept of what I call the 'build up'. For that, they need to know when to hasten and when to draw their wagging tongues to a crawl. It's the 'tongue tease' technique.
Very often men just go down for the sake of it and are too impatient to get their tools where they want it to be.
On the flip side, many women too are guilty of not making a big enough effort to blow their men to the clouds. It's not just the dickhead they should be working on but the whole tool and its supporting structures - the rim of the head, shaft, root and even his jewels. It should often be accompanied by some hand action - stroking, squeezing and massaging.
Every guy is different and while I'm still a long way to being considered a blow mistress - I do know that if you don't experiment, you will never know what pleases your man. It takes lots of practice . Spend more time down there if you want to open up another potential for mutual and sexual satisfaction.
There is no shame in wanting to learn how to do anything right, oral sex included. The only crime is if you brush it off as a foreplay ritual. It's more than that. It's an art and an important component of good sex. Sex is not one action but a whole experience and the richer it is with variety, the more you enjoy and want it. It works both ways and rewards both parties.
What I've found most liberating and enjoyable about sex is when there is spontaneity and the element of adventure. It spurs you on to push more boundaries. With the kids out to college for most of the day, it has given me more impetus to explore other areas of my home as sex sites. Thus, is the basis for another of my recommended sex resolutions for 2010.
The bedroom is often the place you have it out but when you change the environment, you find that you change a little too - the way you behave, the way you do it and ultimately, it brings out another side of you. While the bedroom is still great, outside the bedroom lies a host of unlikely props that you can use creatively in a variety of ways.
Somehow when you find yourself in a different environment, you get a little boost of boldness which leaves you wanting to be more adventurous. It's like you are in an out-of-bounds spot - just what you need to stir the Thelma and Louise in you.
I'm not proposing you head out to the nearest park and get laid on a bench - if you can find a clean one to begin with. But just think about spicing things up - if you want to make your sex life more exciting that is. You'll be surprised. It's usually the small things - the little adjustments that can make a big difference in your sex life.
It's like playing tennis with the same partner all the time in the same court. If you can't get another partner, hell at least find a different court to make things less predictable.
It's the same kind of excitement that runs through your blood vessels when you disappear from a friend's birthday party to have a quickie upstairs in a store-room with a guy you just met. It's about excitement and adventure.
Start things off with a sex sojourn outside the bedroom. Of course a hotel room is great but it's still essentially a bedroom. Besides your sex juices, you want to let your creative juices flow too - be inventive. No two chairs are built the same, foot stools provide great support for a doggy and if height requirements are met then table edges are ideal - to be taken frontal or from the rear. Have you ever had a standing doggy? You get the picture? Small adjustments as I mentioned.
Look out for my sex resolution #2 - coming up next. In the meantime, here is a post in response to my recommended sex resolutions for 2010, I've received a host of emails and comments as a result. Here are some of the interesting ones.
1. Cathy, Singapore - Turn lesbian because I'm tired of telling men what to do and how to do it right! Women know what to do. (MS: Trust me not all lesbians know what they're doing. The best bet is to invest in some trustworthy vibrators. They never let you down.)
2. Mish, AS, W Malaysia - Screw my cheating boyfriend's best friend. (MS: Forget his best friend, screw this other woman.)
3. Eddie Cieder, Newark, NJ - Try to convince my wife that there are other ways to have sex besides me on top. (MS: Ever wonder if she might be thinking the same thing?)
4. Razor (not sure from where) - Experience a threesome for the first time. (MS: If your attempt fails, try using two hands to jerk off.)
5. Liz, Singapore - To stop fucking my colleagues. I need all my blood in my head at work. (MS: You really don't have to stop if they are idiots to begin with. Too much blood in the head will just get you all stressed up.)
6. Dell, Perth, Australia - Go skinny dipping in the Swan.(MS: You do know there are bull sharks in there, don't you?)
7. Nimal, K, India - Cheat less on my wife. (MS: How thoughtful!)
8. Frances, Canada - Stop hoping my husband gives it to me and be more pro-active in getting it. No more disappointment. (MS: Why did you even wait to tell him?)
9. Emily, Philly (not sure if its the Philippines or Philadelphia) - Tell my boyfriend that his dick is way too small to satisfy me. (MS: What ever happened to 'take you as you are'? It's more like take you if you are hung.)
10. Wankguy (not sure from where) - Get my girlfriend to swallow. First I have to convince her that no one gets knocked up if she swallows. (MS: Where is she from? Mypos?)
It's quite disturbing to learn about how so many women are just not comfortable looking at themselves in the mirror - naked I mean. You may not have the perfect body (none of us do) but if you don't get to see what it is you like and what you don't, you'll never get started to improving it.
All the clothes in the world are never going to hide the fact that you just don't feel sexy about yourself. It shows and people know. But forget others, it's really about you.
On the same note, if you feel uncomfortable touching your own body, how do you expect to feel good with another person feeling it. Nudity is so liberating, even if you decide to do it in the confines of your own home. Try it, you'll be surprised with what you'll gain from it. Just make sure no one's home and draw the curtains for Pete's sake, less you want your naked ass popping up all over the Internet.
I try to do my cooking at least once a week in the nude. After a relaxing shower, I wrap my hair and go about my chores without a care in the world. Of course you will want to double check that no one is home. Also, doing it when there is a horny male around is hardly productive.
So when you finally feel comfortable with your naked body, it will work wonders with how you want it touched. Get to know your body better than anyone else, the ins and out of it. It's also a good way to check if all is well with your body.
The past year, I find myself naked more often and it's really enhanced how I feel about myself. When I don't like the way something looks, I do something about it - exercise or get a cream or anything. Let's face it, there is always something we like and don't like about our bodies. The trick is learning to flaunt the good parts and work out to eliminate the bad. Even if you can't get rid of it immediately, you are still conscious about it and dress up with that in mind.
You should never grow tired of looking after your body, that is of course you intend to give up sex altogether.
I wrote about Trish's new toy recently and this is a follow up to that post. I had to go back to her place two days later after realising that I had inadvertently left a file at her place. So I'm there right and I asked her how's she getting along with her new toy. She tells me it is doing just fine and fits nicely into her wardrobe.
I was like okay but she knew what I was thinking. Like any typical woman, I was intrigued by the size of her wardrobe. Which woman wouldn't feel excited about a walk-in wardrobe? After all it's not exactly common in Singapore with the small apartments we live in.
Alas, I was standing at the doorway of one but I was also staring like an idiot - jaw dropped - as I panned across shelves of sex toys! I thought I had a big collection but hell she had a room of them, mostly recognisable to me but a breathtaking spread nonetheless.
I felt inadequate really - looking through her range of dildos, beads, whips, restraints, several contraptions, etc. I walked over to one, the biggest contraption in the room. It looked distinctively familiar. I was curious.
Her reply, "Oh that's just my rowing machine."
My idiocity was confirmed. I mean with all her sex toys in there, how was I suppose to know that she also made space for her exercise equipment!
Knowing that I do occasionally promote sex toys during my tupperware-type parties, she wanted my opinion on what else she could add to her collection. Yeah right, like she didn't already have all possible types of sex toys on the planet. I've seen sex shops with a smaller variety than what she had in her walk-in wardrobe. Darn, I must spend more time with this woman!
A nagging question I harboured as I left was how many toys are really adequate for a woman. What are the necessities? What can we do without?
So I've decided to do some research on the vital sex toys every woman should have. I think portability is a favourite with most women but let's just see what I come up with.
In the mean time, enjoy this television advertisement - related to walk-in wardrobes.
Here is the next resolution on the list if you intend to head down the road to great sex.
#4 - Get into shape
Yes, I know it's become a cliche but seriously, it is what it is because it works. Start off where you think you need a little boost - not on the hard parts. You can tackle those once you get a rhythm and momentum going.
Now, if you are like me (I love a good ride) you want to tone up those thigh and butt muscles. Even the stomach can feel the strain when riding if you aren't in shape. I used to feel that way. Five minutes and I could feel the stitch in my sides - yeah I know, pathetic!
When I mention riding, I'm not just talking about straddling across your man, slipping him in, and gliding about. I'm referring to hard up-down and left-right motions! Don't think making love - think hard rodeo riding!
It helps both ways. When you tone up to ride, you enjoy a longer ride and that in turn helps to work out several muscle groups.
Ever since I've begun stretching and flexibility exercises with an exercise ball, I've notice that I can ride as long as I want without feeling any adverse effects on my tummy. But more to that, exercising regularly has also increased my libido enormously.
It's two years since I've started Kegel exercises and I've become a considerably tighter fit. I used to be rather limp in there but these days, I'm happy to report that I could 'squeeze the life out of any dick' if I wanted to - words from an unsuspecting victim!
Once you get the hang of it, it can be addictive - the combining of exercise and sex into your regime. You sweat, get your endorphin release, get off and get a good sleep, your appetite improves, stress is managed... it's a domino effect that augurs well for your overall health.
What really irks me are those who are clearly overweight who claim they are happy as they are. I'm rather skeptical about them being genuinely so simply because of the host of underlying medical conditions they are subjecting themselves too. How can anyone be happy about being one's own medical time-bomb?
Get fit, lose weight, wear the sexy clothes you have always wanted to and soon you are ready to feed the libido that is buzzes within. My best suggestion is to take it slow. Don't set over-zealous goals like losing 20 pounds in a month. Baby steps is all it takes to get the momentum going.
When you feel sexy, you really want to have it more - from there, more sex translates to more workouts and more weight-loss.
Now that I've just about recovered from my post New Year celebrations (had a party on 2nd Jan), I guess I should post my suggested sex resolutions for the year. This is not something that I've come up with over the past few days but they are in fact a result of my experiences over the previous years (2007 and 2008) and how I managed to find a cure for them last year (2009). It worked for me and I just figured that it might just work for some of you.
#5 - Identify and nullify irritants
A big part of sex is getting in the mood. To that extent, good sex starts way before you get into the bedroom. It has to do with slipping into the right mindset. There are irritants all about - work stress, deadlines, crawling traffic, bad neighbours, horrible customer service, and the likes. The trick is knowing that they are unavoidable and spending your time finding a solution rather than mulling on their emergence.
For work stress and crawling traffic - I use visualisation. It's what I like to call fantasy time - so whenever I am face with such situations - I think about my fantasies. Not just a pan through but a detailed visualisation of everything - from the place, the people, the clothes the guy is wearing, his hairstyle, contours of his six-pack, what I'm wearing, how I undress, how he touches me, the names he calls me, and when I am over, I get back to what I have to do. The next time it comes around, I just continue and add on to building my fantasy. It's really great but you have to know when to stop.
Oh the horror of having neighbours from hell. I've given up on getting angry with my door- and gate-slamming neighbour. Nowadays, whenever I hear them waking up the whole neighbourhood with their antics, I quickly slip on my lowest cut blouse or hot pants and pretend to catch up on some gardening. Like clockwork I would appear whenever their front door and grilled gate slams. Bending over here and reaching over there.
It worked wonders.
The wife now knows that I always appear whenever the door and gate are slammed or even when I hear their loud voices - they are like a signal for me to pop up. She has since caught her husband ogling at me more than a few times and I do believe arguments have been triggered (such a evil little nymph I am!).
It's uncanny how she is now more focused on keeping an eye on her hubby and she also makes sure to close her doors and gates quietly so as not to arouse the appearance of yours truly. It's also quite obvious that she has insisted on keeping their voices down whenever they leave or return. Irritable and noisy problem solved.
I read somewhere that bitches always get their way - I am beginning to think so.
Remember my friend Trish? For those of you who have been following me from the early days of MISSUS SINGAPORE, you'll know that Trish was a model friend who migrated to Perth. She then returned in 2004 when her relationship collapsed, thanks to her philandering fiance.
Anyway, I dropped by her place on Boxing Day to pass her some tarts I had made for her. Of course we had some time for catch up and she showed me her Christmas present to herself. She is rather tired of men and according to her 2010 is the year she will take a hiatus from the opposite sex. Yeah good luck girl!
So in place of the real meat, she invested in a big toy for herself. It looked pretty bulky at first but then she she pulled out all the attachments and what have you, gosh it was amazing. It was an all-in-one sex toy and apparently, it also catered to men! Like my trusty old bicycle, it had five speeds.
I didn't have time to accept her offer to try in out, and besides, neither of us had a single condom between the two of us. I did however promise I'll cash my rain check pretty soon!
When we met, she had already tried it several times and declared it was the best thing since M&Ms to fall into her hands. I forgot to snap a pic but she did send me a photo of the box the contraption came in.
Personally, I don't know if I would invest in such a device. Kinda big and too bulky for my liking but I'm saying this without trying it yet so you can never tell how I feel about it after I've had my ride. So will let you know how that goes. The biggest sex toy I've ever had was a huge 9-inch dildo. No batteries required - just a pure delight thanks to its extended grooves and highly flexible material. I still have it and its really one of my best friends. I named it Gordon...after an old boyfriend who was similarly endowed. Sadly, he was a useless jerk!
Q: It’s out sooner than I like. What can I do about it before considering medical help?
Reply: Just so you know, it’s horror for women too! Raw, instinctive sex – that’s the way we like it. Alcohol, prescription drugs, numbing creams, mental counting or revisiting with drab thoughts have no place in the bedroom if you want to get over your woes for good.
Sex is not just penetration. It’s a whole mind-body experience. So think head-to-toe arousal and appreciate the approach too, not just the destination. Stop-start as many times as you need to until you identify that point of no return. Relax and control your breathing. There are lots of other places we like to be touched too. For us, the whole body is a sensual playground. So if you are out sooner than you like, here's a good reason to spend time exploring your partner's body. She will appreciate it and you will clock in a decent shift.
There is really nothing wrong admitting to a problem than many men seem to have. Pretending you don't have it when you do will only delay yours and your partner's pleasure longer. Just don't get too cocky about it like this one guy I met sometime back. He called himself TEXAS! What a joke he was - claiming how women love him in bed and all that crap. He had a average tool but goodness - it took exactly 2.5 minutes before he mumbled the words I expected to hear after 60 minutes!. I'm coming!
So much for the tough-nut name and all. He was a joke!
A year back, there was this high-standing official in Warsaw, Poland who, on most days couldn't care less about his wife but on days when he had to attend public functions, would have his assistant take her on a shopping spree inclusive of visits to the hair-dresser, make-up artist and manicurist.
Many viewed her as one lucky woman but oblivious to many was that she felt enslaved by him and disgusted by the fact that he only wanted her to look good when she was out with him under public scrutiny. She was a fashion model and budding actress when she met her husband and was apparently a real beauty (I've never seen a photo of her though).
Her mistake - she was driven and attracted to his wealth. Now in such a case, I wonder if it was her fault as much as his. Worst still, she held on to the relationship for 15 frigging years! I mean there was no gun held to her head and neither did he force her to stay on but she simply allowed herself to be a trophy wife. Possibly, she loved the attention too until the novelty died or she came to her senses.
When she filed for a divorce (very much all over the local news) last year, she moaned and groaned about how she was treated. It's hard to really assess where the blame should fall but in my opinion, she got what was coming to her for exchanging her self-esteem and freedom of personal expression for wealth.
There was a similar story of a trophy wife here in Singapore a few months back. This brilliant high-IQ scholar bullied his wife constantly - insistent on depleting her self-worth and ability. His was more of a verbal abuse but to me, verbal or physical, no woman should stand for that.
In this case, his behaviour was triggered more by his lack of self-esteem and failure at work. Being made to feel low by his inadequacies and consequent depression, he turned to his wife in an attempt to give his self-worth a boost.
Words like 'moron', 'bimbo' and 'a lousy lay' were commonly used. You wonder why he stayed on with her - probably because he knew no one else would tolerate such behaviour. It started a year after their nine-year union and she only filed for a divorce recently - a divorce eight years too late, if you ask me.
Of course she could have walked out and only returned after he had sought help. But he didn't and she stayed on.
A trophy wife is often seen as the result of a man's manipulation but women who know where things are going and just sit back are equally culpable for sustaining the concept. Money is often the motivating factor. Almost always, things eventually reach an explosive culmination and everyone gets nasty as dirty laundry is hung out to dry for all to see.
Women should not stand for this, especially when we are talking about a long term relationship. In fact, I know many hookers who don't even stand for it unless part of the bedroom ritual but they scorn if anyone carries such behaviour outside of the bedroom. Yeah, it's a cliche that money isn't everything. I won't harp on that but I can certainly tell you that self-esteem IS everything!
I know I've mentioned previously that I like to be name-called during sex but that's just part of role-playing. I certainly would not stand one instance if anyone, not even my spouse, were to call me such things and mean it in everyday life. Fooling around is fine but when conversations get serious or during misunderstandings, never.
Call me a bitch, slut or whore when you're fucking me, and I'll get aroused by it but a slight mention of it anywhere else and I'm off. That should be the same for any woman! Don't sell your self-esteem for anything.
