MILE-HIGH CLUB (Part 2)

(Continued from yesterday)

With the long haul flights it conceivably works better. With a half hour shuttle flight from Singapore to KL, chances are by the time you get out of your knickers and get into position, the only humping you'll experience would be the one you feel when the plane tyres find the runway. Now if you can manage that, my hat and knickers go out to you!

Ours was some 18 hours in the air so plenty of time to have a few drinks, get all worked up with some discreet foreplay and thereafter, several rounds of airplay. Besides, being a long haul, most passengers are sleeping or trying their best not to arouse any attention if they are up to the same antics.

Cumming was not particularly spectacular as one would expect - probably because you're restraining yourself from hitting the highest points of ecstasy. Darn!

So there you have it, Missus Singapore - a member of the mile-high club too and I didn't have to do it in the toilet. As to the experience - well it was exciting and passed the time most productively but really, it's not very comfortable. I suppose that is another reason why dildos come in so handy - especially the portable ones. But then again, with the increased restrictions on all sorts of gadgets these days, there is the mortifying risk that customs may confiscate them. Ahh but there is the egg which you can always hide it where it provides most pleasure. Does that alert the beep at the security check? I hope not.

There were several other times including one when we were caught dead in the act by the stewardess when the blanket slipped off just as we were pretending to cuddle up and sleep - exposing in full view what grown up horny adults do on the plane when they think no one is looking. It did have most interesting consequences when we landed and got to hang out with her...but alas another story for another day.

Missus Singapore out!

MILE-HIGH CLUB (Part 1)

I read an article about Richard Branson, the Virgin Atlantic airline chief, who admitted that he had joined the mile-high club in a plane toilet. BIG DEAL!

The guy owns several aircraft and he could easily hook up with someone, take them up on his plane and practically have it out anywhere on the bird. Come on, in the toilet? He could do it on the wings for all anyone cares. I suppose there are weirder places to have sex but the real authenticity of mile-high membership is to have it out in your seats.

Years ago, when the hubby and I were on a trip to LA, we did so. It took a lot of adjustments, mind you. We had a double window seat so no third party involvement.

Unfortunately, no one actually plans to have sex on the plane. You don't book a flight and say hey lets get up there and fuck for the sake of it. Besides, it's a rather expensive endeavour for the mere sake of getting air laid.

It must be something about the air at 30,000 feet that works on the sex glands I suppose. (What do you think NASA is doing all those experiments on the International Space Station?) Boredom perhaps has some role to play.

More often than not, you'd want to be in appropriate travel garb, jeans and T-shirt for me with maybe a sweater. So you can appreciate the adjustments that had to be made. If i knew before hand, I'd probably come in a mini-skirt ala Labelle Dame Sans Knickers.

Anyway, it was wild, long and the excitement mostly gets to you. If you're a moaner - gosh I pity you. You got to make up some positions though as the ones you find in the Joys of Sex will serve you no good. I guess the closest one could come to describing the position would be the spoon. Gal on the outside seat and guy in the inside, both facing the same direction. However, the seats tend to be a little on the small side so no heavy banging or you'd end up in the middle of the aisle with your ass in the air.

Now firstly, the shared handle has to be able to be pushed up and a pillow shoved in between less you want your neigbour at the back to have a free peep show or worst still, sticking in an unwanted hand in the fray.

Lights off. And take off! (Blankets required).

(To be continued)

Missus Singapore out!

DON'T BLOW ON THE JOB

I am not sure why this is happening and am quite shocked (so many don't know) I must add, but ever since there was word that oral sex will no longer be illegal by consenting adults in Singapore, I have had numerous people writing in to ask me how its done. You have got to be kidding me right?

You mean to say you guys actually were law-abiding citizens all this while??

In total, I received 12 emails from gals, five from men and two idiots sending me images of their pale pathetic symbols of manhood.

For the two idiots - I'll be sending you an image of a keyhole for them to go stick it in there.

For the guys - well they seem to be complaining that their gals seem to 'hurt' them while blowing them.

For the gals, wanting to know how its done - well best I can say is that it takes some practice. And even when you get it right with one guy, it does not mean it will work with another so always be flexible with your application.

Always be ready to try new routines and watch the body language. For now, while I gather my thoughts and try to devise a step-by-step manner of giving a blow - the best advice I can dispense is this. When giving a blow, imagine you are sucking on a lolly, you know the popsicle kind. Imagine you are trying to delicately retain its shape with your mouth and tongue - it takes some skillful yet delicate licking and sucking.

Granted some guys love it when you gobble their dicks eagerly, and hungrily, this is a good start which I am sure will go down well with many guys. Hmmm...maybe I might come up with a video series of lessons.

Missus Singapore out!

UNFULFILLED & UNDERSEXED (Part 2)

(Continued from yesterday)

Anyway, as for this woman, she admits she has been tempted to sit on his face because she is getting all frustrated. I asked if she had spoken to her husband about it but they say they are all good Christians. Now how is that relevant? So is she trying to tell me good Christians are not suppose to have mind-blowing and fulfilling sex? They are not suppose to talk about sex? Hogwash.

I insisted that she show me where such a 'law' was written. She couldn't. So i told her to go ahead and sit on her husband's face. Nasty me. I mean come on, she is already blowing him off!

I don't want to go into religious practices but if they go to hell for that, at least they will be in the good company of yours truly!

So anyway, to cut the long story short, they got down to talking about sex and she found out that he didn't go down on her because he didn't know how to! What a bummer! Anyway, it can be interesting learning for both. It's exploration after all that makes sex so fascinating and exciting. Better now than later or never . Too late and even if he wants to go down on her, he might not have the back for it.

On hindsight, lucky thing she didn't listen to me and jump to sit on his face. Gosh she could have drowned the poor guy.

Missus Singapore out!

UNFULFILLED & UNDERSEXED (Part 1)

I was at a dinner party a few days back. It was for an acquaintance's wedding anniversary. I met her when she hired me for one of my sex-toy-type parties. There were four women and three guys, including her husband but after dinner, we broke off into two camps - the guys went to the balcony while us gals camped in the master-bedroom.

Of course our conversation went into asking her about her sexual relationship with her husband and although she was a graduate of my lessons, (she actually gives an ice-lolly a good workout) she says that her husband has yet to go down on her.

OMG! I immediately felt a sense of sorrow for her. I had an ex a long time ago who was made from the same block and I didn't waste time to move on. He wanted it and I wanted it but he got it and I became best friends with a dildo.

To be honest though, many men don't do it and even when they do, they just don't know how to do it. It's not all about lapping it up at a furious pace. it's about timing, its about knowing when to apply the pressure, where and for how long. The tongue is a powerful muscle but if you know how to relax it and how to twirl it, you'll have it very much sewn up in the oral sex department. Most who claim to love to go down on a woman make you feel like your pussy has just been through a car-wash

And with the increase awareness of the G-spot, holy cow Batman, they just think that sticking your finger in the vicinity and furiously frigging away will work wonders. Will someone please tell them that every woman may have such a spot but it is never at the same place. It's not an X-Box control down there!

(To be continued)

Missus Singapore out!

PLAY IT RIGHT

Met the gals for the usual week out. Same old story - dinner, drinks, watch amusingly as guys pick up their courage to throw some stupid pick-up lines and us and us leaving them to scrape their dented egos off the floor. One of my friends commented that it was really strange that we never see the same guys at our watering holes. We mush really be chasing the guys away. Another reason why some pubs hate to let us over-35s in for their ladies' nights i suppose. The younger ones - it may work provided you are non-Asian.

But seriously, some of the lines are really pathetic. Some downright bold and a turn off. When wil the guys learn. Smile and say Hi - that's a start. Imagine you are meeting a new friend and take it from there. Don't make it seem like you are about ready to hump us. It's obvious. You want to play the game, for heaven's sake know the rules.

We may be older and wiser but we won't bite unless something stupid comes out of your mouth.

Missus Singapore out!

STAND AND BE COUNTED (Part 2)

(Continued from yesterday)

Amongst the many women I know and the survey I did last year of 220 women between the ages of 23-56, it was clear that those above 30, in particular, the 30-47 year age group know how to enjoy sex for what it really is. The younger ones talk lots about where they have been, what they have seen but when it comes down to the crunch, are just not equipped and skilled to pull off extreme bedroom aerobics. I am not just saying this because I too would have probably been asked to pay for admission to St James Power Station but because I was young too and thought I knew everything.

Sex as a younger girl and sex as a woman are two different dimensions altogether. Point in question, a blow job was just a job when you are younger - its an art when you are older!

Of course this means that the focus now is on the older than 35 year old women. So you need to do your part and justify the injustice by keeping in shape, turning the heads and oozing the sexuality that is a part of you.

Another interesting survey for a men's website I did in December - 80 men (between (26-35) were questioned about their partner preferences - and 45 actually were turned on by older women even though they conceded that they may not be as physically comparative to their younger counterparts. Still, they would prefer a more well-rounded woman than a skinny one which our woman's magazines love to feature (in that sense they have betrayed the older women) It was their personality, the way they carried themselves and the way they were able to flirt without being so obvious.

So thumbs up to the MILFs. If you are one, stand up and be counted!

Missus Singapore out!

STAND AND BE COUNTED (Part 1)

A friend of mine wrote in to the daily Straits Times newspaper in response to a local pub, St James Power Station that disallowed a single woman in her 50s the right to enjoy the free drinks for ladies on their ladies' night. Their claim was that being past 35 years of age meant that you ain't gonna attract the men who are the ones who really spend there.

Well, I would have accepted (not agreed) their stand but in today's age, they are obviously not plugged into the REAL scene. I mean just take a look at the porn sites these days, the number of older and more matured women featured is astounding!. Yes, they may not have the distinct curves like their younger counterparts do but they take good enough care to have a rounder figure which can drive the men crazy. Besides, there is always the aura of experience which they carry along with them...they know what they want, how to get it and how to enjoy it!

(To be continued)

Missus Singapore out!

ASK MISSUS SINGAPORE #15

Q1. Why is your site always about sex? Is this a porn site?

MS: Get your facts right. This ain't no porn site. Just because authorities in Singapore seem to portray sex as sinful, it does not mean that talking about sex makes this a porn site. The problem in Singapore is that there is not enough talk about it so when we hear something new, it shocks us.

Just like a married woman, mother and wife, who treasures her family and engages in a menage a trois every now and then, does that make her worst than a cheating idiot who heads to a hooker for a dose of what he should be getting from his wife? To each his own. Don't judge.

As long as there are no drugs, no children or animals involved and no one gets hurt, I feel the authorities should loosen up their hypocritical belts and just...well, fuck!

Go ahead and say it. It's not a bad word. Certainly no worse than asshole!

BTW, are you from the authorities? If so, well this is indeed a Hardcore Porn Site XXX all the way!

Missus Singapore out!

QUICKIES (POLL 7)

It's uncanny how all women experience quickies. Yes, whether or not we admit to it, we all eventually have it. For some of us it's an intentional undertaking while for others, the event is rather unexpected. Sure the spontaneity is great but not when you are behind the stove in the middle of preparing dinner!

When one is younger, living with parents, having sex is rather a fleeing thing - you have it to avoid getting caught with your panties down. Sex is thus quick and you can't wait to move out fast enough so that you can get down to it a little longer.

That said, even when you want it longer, young men are usually so inexperience and overly excited that they just can't hold it in long enough for you to get off. Don't believe Hollywood because you'll probably have more luck biting off your own ear than cumming together in a moment of all-consuming passion.

When you are older and have your own place, sex is looking good. But you have to pay rent so work disrupts your life. Sex? What sex? You'll be lucky if you get any with the new intern in the copier room during lunch and get banged up against the stacked up boxes of copier paper...but I wouldn't know. Anyway, again, a quickie.

The quickie was really something coined by men, for men without the woman in mind. Unless I am feeling naughty and just want to give a quick hand-job or blow, I don't enjoy it as much as say a long sweaty session.

Or sometimes, maybe, I'll use it to dissolve the obnoxious arrogance of a guy who knows it all and douse his ego. You should try it - they become so sheepish when you show them their jizz in your hands and give them the look that - 'is this all you got'?

With marriage and children, quickies now become part and parcel of the marital sex life. It's the only way you can keep up with the required frequency to keep sane. Hell, you will reach an age when cumming is all you want but if you can't get it, anything in there will do no matter how quick - one reason why sex toys are such best sellers with matured women.

Anyway, here is the survey on quickies that I recently had posted on my blog. 11.4% don't have it. So I guess it could be seen that they are either getting lots of long rolls in the haystack or none at all. Thanks for all those who voted, particular Jesline from NUS who got her five classmates to vote and I never would have thought such things go on in uni!

Missus Singapore out!

MASS INTERCOURSE

Well, leave it to the Japanese to come up with something like this. Only in Japan! Everything is about mass production, like the video cassette recorders and automobiles, which started it all, now it's mass sex.

On after thought, Singapore should really come up with something like this to increase our population - compulsory sexual intercourse for married couples to procreate. They are kept in a facility, forced to have sex in front of the procreation officers, and will only be released when conception occurs, however long it takes.

We have taken a lot from the Japanese and here is one more which might prove quite useful in lifting our low sex frequency and falling population.

Ironically, the Durex World Sex Survey 2005 indicated that Singaporeans have the second lowest sex frequency per year. Rooted at the bottom - the Japanese. So I guess this is an attempt to play catch up.

Missus Singapore out!