This article appeared in a men's website website sometime back. Just thought you might like to read it.
Flights of Fantasy
Men seem to have them 24/7 but just because women don't talk about them, it doesn't mean we don't have them.
Before you jump your gun and start visualising the lurid details within a woman's fantasy world, you need to know some things.
Unless you are specifically talking about sexual fantasies, a woman's submergence into the world of fantasy may not always involve sexual trysts with food, leather or sweaty sessions in some cheap hotel. Not all the time at least.
I hit the Scotts Road to conduct a straw poll of 25 women who held various occupations in the finance, legal, media and retail industries. Also, two were undergraduates and five were homemakers.
Not surprisingly, from the lot, only seven suggested anything really sexual. Most cited globe-trotting, owning property in an exotic location and finding a decent man. The reason for that had nothing to do with us being prudes but more because of how we see fantasies.
Clearly there is a stark distinction between how men and women view them. For men, fantasies and sex co-exist as one. Who is right? Well, according to one dictionary definition, a fantasy is described as 'an imagined event or sequence of mental images, such as a daydream, usually fulfilling a wish or psychological need'. You see now? Fantasy does not have to equate sex.
We may be the specific-minded gender or perhaps own a better definition of words, but are certainly not prudes. Now when I coaxed about their sexual fantasies, out came illicit wishes, tricklin slowly at first before the floodgates opened.
So here goes then...what you guys want to know. But bear in mind that these are fantasies and do not necessarily mean any woman is rearing to live them out for real (although some are and have!).
From the women polled, here are their top five sexual fantasies.
#5 - Lady Boss
In a man's world, there is a desire to make it a woman's world in the bedroom where a man is compelled to obey and please his mistress or face the consequences.
#4 - The Masked Bandit
Many fantasise the idea of a masked intruder 'breaking' into their bedrooms, tying them up and then ravaging them (or course they also picture themselves in very conservative nightgowns!)
#3 - The Great Outdoors
Having sex under the stars. We are not talking about the backseat of a car parked along some deserted road or car-park. We are talking on a mat spread on an open field. Marina Bay and the Padang came up for mention.
#2 - The Performer
Doing a strip or erotic dance routine for 'private customers' who hand out moo-lah for 'encouragement'. 'Performing' in front of the camera was also a popular fantasy - not with a video phone but movie camera, with proper lighting, make-up and wardrobe!
#1 - Cleopatra Lives
Having a menage-a-trois was popular amongst the ladies. One even went further adding, "One man good, two men better, three and four is even better. Nothing like being Cleopatra for the night."
About the Writer Deborah is a former Mrs Singapore 2002 and has written about women's issues, education, travel, health and sex, as well as interpersonal relationships. In her free time when not writing or modelling, she loves keeping fit and staying in shape.
I am never tired of people watching. Yesterday I was early for an appointment with my editor so i decided to wait at a neary Starbucks outlet to enjoy a cappuccino. I came to notice a woman, at first appearing normal, trying her utmost to attract the attention of a guy sitting across from her. It was all very typical but unfortunately, the guy was oblivious to her overtures.
She was running her fingers through her hair, trying to get his attention. Her shoulder-length hair was neat as she twirled it in her fingers. At first I was amused. But later after I realised what she was doing, I became rather annoyed.
The reason being this. Granted this is a proven method of flirting, for it to work, the guy has to know about it and chances are Singaporean men are totally clueless about it. Also, one needs to be looking or at least glancing in your direction to pick up the nuances. This guy wasn't - he had his head buried in his laptop.
Anyway, not that this guy would appeal to my tastes, I walked over to the woman's table and introduced myself. I later told her i noticed she was trying to attract the attention of that guy. She was embarrassed at first (i tend to be direct and impatient at these things!) but later admitted.
So I told her to just go up to him and introduce herself. She was too coy about it so I decided to do it for her. I did so, walked up to him and said my friend was interested in getting to know him. He was surprised but very interested. I introduced them and returned to my table happy that I had initiated it.
Of course you'll never know if he was an axe murderer or she a con-artist but nonetheless, I think I did my part. I am so tired of hearing how a friend saw this cute guy or gal but find out they never approached them. They lament about it sometime later. Lost opportunities occur much too often.
My advice - go for it. You'll never know if it could be the start of something. If all fails, you ain't gonna see that person again. Besides, stepping up and making the move builds confidence. Trust me.
Just got off the phone with a new friend I made from this website called fridae.com. I just wonder why she insisted on SMSing instead of speaking to me. Makes you wonder doesn't it. Anyway, you always wanna give people the benefit of the doubt.
I've met lots of people online (against better advice) but most of them turned out to be alright. Most I said.
As an estimate, I would say that of the 100 or so people I have met online, I mean physically met up in person, I would say around 7 of them are complete weirdos...I mean totally spaced out. So I can safely assume that 7% of the time you would meet a weirdo. But then again, all it takes is one weirdo to whip out a chainsaw and cut you in three. Be careful and I am not talking about condoms alone. Thankfully, I always meet up with my hubby or a friend and you should too.
Q: How do i get my husband to stop surfing porn on the Net?
MS: By surfing porn yourself and hogging the computer. You can nag all you want but he will only do it behind your back. So you do it, spring out a dildo or two, no panties and surf as matter of factly....It's a better way to get the message through.
Q: If I can't seem to cum, what can i do?
MS: No idea if you are a man or woman to begin with. So unless you mention it, my best answer is to go!
Q: You make it sound so easy to dress up for your man but it actually is not.
MS: Of course it is. THink of it this way. If you want him to pay attention to you, or want to get him to do things you enjoy, you gotta work for it. Sometimes its easier. When I need a new pair of shoes, a good blowjob usually does the trick.
Gloria (she sent this in) from the UK claims she is on a quest to notch as many lays with men from as many countries as possible. She sent me a cute collage of cartoons and this is one I enjoyed most. Thanks and all the best!
This just in from someone named Dennis. I remember reading this somewhere before but nonetheless, it's a pretty interesting read. Thanks! Are we that bad a gender?
The Male Perspective
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules Please note these are all numbered “1 ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it Don’t try to change that
1.2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If its up, put it down We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1.3 Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1.4 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1.5 Crying is blackmail.
1.6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!
1.7 ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do - sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1.8 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor
1.9 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days
1.10 If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
1.11 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1.12 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done Not both If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1.13 Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1.14 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we 1.15 ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.16 If it itches, it will be scratched We do that.
1.17 If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle
1.18 If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear
1.19 When we have to go some where, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1.20 Don t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars
You've probably heard the occasional couple who have hooked up on the net. For me, as I have always been, skeptical about it. I mean how many people are sincerely looking for a long-term thing. Back home, guys here are usually desperate for a fling behind their relationships, girlfriend or wife. Or they want a free fuck, simple as that.
But on the other spectrum, I've noticed how women too are partly to blame. I mean they are really teasers. Do they really hope to meet a nive guy to spend the rest of their lives with online?? I mean the fact that you get online to meet guys, it does show you are in some measure of desperation either to get hitched or as i believe, testing the waters to get laid as well.
Of course there is no certaintly that any guy you meet online isn't gonna pull a fast one but at least you have a better chance through his eyes. The eyes tell alot. Body language too. I could spot a bullshitter when I laid eyes on one.
Most of the guys I have met online are really assholes....losers who think they can use me...but not before I use them and spit them out.
And it really doesn't make a difference if they are Caucasians, Asians, Latinos, African....it is the binding factor amongst men....most are just ...well you figure the rest.
At first I thought it was just me because I had some bad relationships in my past, but the more I speak to other women, the more I realise that this is indeed a phenomenon, no, a fact of life.
So if you are online to get laid, just say it as it is, don't get into personal details and get over it.
Well according to statistics, infidelity amongst women is on an all time high! Worrying as it may sound, it's still no where compared to cheating husbands. Now they get their own medicine back.
However, the real problem lies in why marriages are falling prey to this. To all those who said married couples should not tell all and some secrets and fantasies should be swept under the rug for good....eat your words. It doesn't work that way.
As far as I know, sharing desires and fantasies makes the union more special because you really get to know each other better....sometimes you may even be lucky enough to have your fantasies made to come true....
I mean in a research article I did last year for a men's magazine, an astonishing 81% of women actually play out a fantasy whilst screwing....and an equally astonishing 3% actually told their husbands about it. As for the men, 75% would prefer knowing about them as they felt it would really steam up the sex alot more.