SEX BOOK TO REMEMBER

My friend Alison called today to tell me she had found an old sex book she remembered reading as a teenager. That got me recalling my favourite book. However, it wasn't quite what you might consider a traditional sex book.

It was actually a book of sex letters. It was yellow in cover and came in paperback. I wonder how many of you have heard or come across the book I am referring to. There were no pictures in it, just text but you could discover the whole world of sex in that glorious book. I believe it was written by a panel of sex therapists. If you find it, let me know.

Missus Singapore out!

TOUGH JOB BUT I LOVE IT

I have experienced working life and home life as a homemaker and I must admit, the latter is really not easy. When the kids were younger, it was tough but I expected things to get easier as they grew up. How wrong I was.

As teens now, there are new sets of problems that parents have to deal with which can sometimes leave you at your wits end.

When kids are young, you are at the centre of their world but as teens, they have their own programmes and outings as a family are really not easy to come by. Yet, I love being a mum. I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Mums who are homemakers are really the real deal - tough, compassionate, naggy, loving and always supportive. Why is there no one stepping up to pay us? And by payment, I don't mean the hubby hinting that sex is on the cards for the night.

Missus Singapore out!

THE EX-PHENOMENON

I was clearing up some rubbish which I had been wanting to do for the longest time and found some notes from some ex-boyfriends. Losers - all of them.

Of course that is what everyone tends to say about their ex-s. But in my case, it could not be more truthful! Call it ass luck but I always used to hook up with really sad excuses of guys. Perhaps its me. Perhaps, I get bored too easily?

Anyway, I found a letter about this guy who wanted so much not to lose me. He was pleading to me in his letter. And interestingly, he said to think about all those special moments we had in bed.

I guess he must have been thinking about someone else because we certainly never had special moments. I used to dread it and usually just gave in to keep him shut and leave me alone.

Yeah, I was a meanie but merely because I was not happy and wanted to call it quits. He never would let me go and thought that by being abusive he would threaten me to stay.

How wrong he was! I've moved on, out of this pathetic cage and into a life I could only have dreamt of when I was with him. Besides, his puny manhood was not worth my time and effort. In fact, I spent too much time talking about him already.

Anyone had such bad ex-s before?

Missus Singapore out!

FREAKSTER

Got some emails, smiles and friend invites from FRIENDSTER this morning. One was from this guy who says he's married but is unhappy.

So what the fuck do you want me to do about it? Making friends instead of working things out? I gather its a fuck he wants.

This girls sends me an url to head to and bam - a spammer!

Another is a girl who is looking for a relationship with other women. Now what exactly does that mean? Is it a friendship? A romantic relationship? Or some girl-girl action in bed? Which is it?

Friendster is really freaked up guys.

Missus Singapore out!

TAME TAMMY!

I got this very grainy video of a polytechnic gal who captured her sexual exploits on her cell phone. She had it stolen though and it was subsequently posted all over the net.

What is all the fuss? I know this is old news but watching it has made me wonder.

So she is 17. So she got in on video. But her new found fame was not her doing. In any case, I was screwing when I was 16 and if there were video phones then, I would not hesitate to capturing every guy who was screwing me. I mean who is not an exhibitionist to some extent. If you really want a clearer video of a real life screw...maybe I might just come up with my own version.

Missus Singapore out!

THE THRILL OF FANTASY

A friend asked if it was 'normal' to think of someone to reach an orgasm? Asking me? The same 'me' who has in my wildest (and highest) moments, imagined dicks of all types, sizes and colours. And the best part, my hubby knows about it because I am rather vocal at those intense moments in time.

My friend is a prude when it comes to sex...it's ok she knows that I call her that.

So I told her that and then she asked if she should tell her hubby that she had those thoughts?

I told her that unless she knew her extremely well and how his reaction would be, she should keep it to herself. Besides, the important thing here is that she is cumming when so many of my other girlfriends don't even get a sniff of an orgasm.

So I say shut up and keep cumming....

Missus Singapore out!

GREAT SEX (POLL 2)

Here is the poll where women (i hope) gave their takes on what makes great sex. I have decided to remove polls and publish them once a hundred respondents have voted.

Anyway, only a meagre 10% want the tender loving Mills&Boons-type sex. No argument here. I mean once in a while its great but come on. Well apparently I am not the only one who feels this way.

21% want it hot and sweaty.....me too. I suppose they want to integrate a great workout as well. Health-conscious ones perhaps.

If you always thought foreplay is overrated, well it's not say a significant 30%. For me it really depends. If it is a quickie, wouldn't mind giving it a miss. Or if I just wanna be nasty and feel used, hell be selfish.

And here it is, the most commonly voted definition of great sex....the mighty O.
I love it but I have to be honest, I need to be touched and played with in the right way, otherwise the might O might turn out to be the mighty D - disappointment, in which case, I would rather have it hot and sweaty.

Thanks so much for your encouragement and keep those votes coming in!

Missus Singapore out!

MENAGE A TROIS

Just yet, I'm not gonna say whether I have indulged in one but a friend of mine was asking if she should because it does tickle her fancy.

She has been hitched for four years, has two very young kids and works as a purchasing consultant. The thing is, she is not quite sure whether she wants to do it for real and if she does, how would she bring it up to her husband.

My take is that she should, if she really must, get her husband involved. Now that is provided he is open-minded and kinky enough. Otherwise, I told her to ditch her plans. If her husband has cheated on her however, she should just go for it, a threesome, foursome, hell, get the whole football team - video tape it - and send it to him anonymously!

Missus Singapore out!

BIMBO PARADE?

Someone asked me what I thought of beauty pageants. I laughed it off but I think he deserves a honest answer. Well, to begin with, I am not a Pageant Addict, referring to those who continuosly take part in any contest that comes around.

I had absolutely no idea my husband had sent in the entry form when the Mrs Singapore 2003 pageant came around. Apparently, he and my two kids had conspired to send in my entry.

I was initially reluctant and protested vehemently but when my husband told me it was the chance to make a new friend or two and get to focus on myself, I agreed. Thereafter to some extent I harboured dreams of actually winning the thing but accepted that any expectation would only ruin any chance of having fun.

Anyway, I did, albeit much surprise, win the darn thing, but I had already won several times over by the number of new friends I made.

To be honest though, beauty pageants get all the negative publicity which is not totally unjustifiable. There are no doubt some bimbos there, and this I use loosely because having a degree is no certainly for being excluded from 'bimbo-hood'. There are those who take it too seriously and splurge on gowns, make-up artists, hair-stylists and take up packages offered by sponsors in the home of putting themselves in good light. Some of the bitching that goes on behind-the-scene is really fodder for a nice juicy story.

I am proud to say that I didn't spend a cent! Not a single cent which was to the consternation to many sponsors. Well, at least I won on merit, at least I like to think so.

Beauty pageants are what they are, a showcase of beauty and substance. While external beauty can be created, the inner beauty of sincerity is also on show which can sometimes seem lacking when idots propose to save the world, cure cancer, help the homeless or stop human-trafficking. Granted all these are really great, the reality is that you ain't going to achieve much other than put a pretty face as a front for a honourable cause.

I did not want to say something I knew I was unable to keep to, so my platform was to promote something close to my heart - keeping the marriage alive and spicy. It went down well with the audience and you could hear them gasp in shock but nonetheless, they applauded and cheered with genuine sincerely and relief.

It was at that point that I realised I might just have a chance. It was the same thing when I went to Hollywood for the International Pageant but that is another story for another day.

Missus Singapore out!

BOOBS OVER DUDES

For the longest time I used to think I was some deviant being. Well, actually, a few girlfriends seem to think so.

You see I have this thing about checking out boobs - given a choice to ogle at a toned male body or sexy woman, almost immediately I'll be checking out the babe.

I'm no lesbian. Screwed up maybe, but certainly no lesbian. How do I know this? Well, I'm still an avid 'meat' eater - if you get my drift. Perhaps, I lean somewhat towards being bisexual.

Anyway, I was curious recently so I began asking around - friends, acquaintances, strangers at the pub, fellow gals in the little girl's room and so on. (As a writer, you can get away with asking things other people may not dare to ask. 'All for the sake of a story' - would be my excuse.)

Anyway, astonishingly, my 'survey' indicated that 73% of women actually ogle at other woman's boobs and 61% fantasise about being with another woman. So deviant I'm not! Perhaps, I've been mixing with the wrong kind of women.

I must say, I'm curious about the males. How many eye other men's groin areas - strange as it sounds cos we women scarcely look at a guy's groin. It's usually his arms, butt or general figure.

Maybe the correct question should be how many fantasise about another man? Why does that sound a tad repulsive? I guess two men under the soft illumination of a room overlooking the night skyline is never going to seem half as erotic as two women in the same scenario?

It has to do with art guys! Our bodies are works of art!

Missus Singapore out!

EXAM-TIME MISERY

Besides the students themselves, mothers are the next group of people who go crazy during examination. For the next two weeks or so...it can be a stress hole.

So out come the comfort foods, not for the kids but for us mums. Mother's Day is coming up and who on earth decided to log it in the midst of mid-term exams? Anyway, for me and a couple of married girlfriends, exam stress needs to be balanced off by a greater-than-usual need for good mind-blowing, stress-releasing sex. At least it helps lose weight, not like chocolates....

Missus Singapore out!

PORN REPRIEVE

Okay, so i kinda fooled myself. It took longer than expected and with the help of one of my favourite adult movies to get me off tonight. Was horny no doubt but clearly tired from a long day. At least the kids exams are over and have finally settled things with getting a new maid for my mum-in-law (the previous was totally crap and a thief, we only just found out!)

Anyway, I had porn to help me out, which is why I put up a new poll because I was wondering how you guys see it. To be honest, I watched it first when I was in secondary school. But somehow, I never thought too much about it until recently.

Missus Singapore out!

HATE VOLCANOES

It's not a good day today because the hubby was away chasing some damn volcano. Need it so badly. It's always this way. Anyway, out with the dildo and vibrator.

Maybe I should break out the new 'egg' I bought last month which is still unopened. Woo hoo! They day might not be too bad after all!

Will report back after I'm done, which shouldn't be too long cos i am so horny!

Missus Singapore out!

BALLS DROPPING

Such a bummer! This guys steals 2K from his China-girl lover and kills her because she reported it. Gosh, this guy - a family man - gets to screw behind his wife's back and then blows it.

Colleagues and neighbours say he was a nice family man. It goes to show how well we really know people we meet. He seemed to have it going for him...my take is that it was more than that. I figure she wanted more commitment from him and he panicked or as one of my guy friends says, 'balls dropped'.

I am just wondering. What really makes a man decide to risk everything for an affair or for that matter, why does anyone, man or woman do it. Talk is so underrated! If that doesn't work and you think there is no point staying it the relationship, make a clean break!

Missus Singapore out!

MY 'POOR' NEIGHBOUR

She has a son, is separated from her husband and I met her at the neighbourhood KFC. Actually, I first caught her focusing on my hubby's butt!

Went up to her, sat down and began a conversation. She was stunned when he joined us at the table. She was rather friendly and easy-going so we joked about her eyeing my man.

Anyway, we did joke that she could share him and she would have agreed if only for her present lover who was particular about whom she hung out with. It was a polite way to say he was a jealous SOB. What made it worse was when she revealed he was married with two kids.

Well, what a loser he was and she for going with him. Not that she needed the money as she was gainfully employed. But a bad childhood and father had some part to do with it. Funny how women with horrible father-figures seem to be sucked into similar-type relationships as adults. It's really a vicious cycle.

Missus Singapore out!

THE IDEAL WOMAN (POLL 1)

What type of woman turns you on?

Thanks for all your votes and here are the results!

As expected, most of you (38%) like her nasty.
Somehow the schoolgirl uniform appeals (27%) to you dirty old men!
Demure and shy huh? You want to take advantage of her huh? (22%)
Am rather surprised about this one though. 13% like the business suit types?
Missus Singapore out!

JOO CHIAT - PART 2

So these two China girls wanted to befriend me. Well they offered to pay for my drink. So I let them share my table. One was rather short (Heyland, she spelled it out) and well she had a great body, nice round tits, slim waist and tight ass. Her face however was another story altogether - probably from all the thick make-up she had to wear all night every night.

The other (Jessie, I think!) was slightly taller, well groomed I must say and presented herself like a well brought up upper-class lady from Beijing. She too had a trim body. Hey, women notice these things about other women OK!! And just in case you're thinking - No! I'm not lesbian.

Anyway, they tried to tell me that they wanted to see more of Singapore. I agreed to take them to Chinatown which they had heard so much about but never been to. They were happy but then surprised me by saying they would pay me, not with money but by giving me a body massage.

Hmm! Truth be told, I was a sucker for a good body massage but this proposal all seemed too fishy for my liking. I told them it was alright...but they persisted until out of the blue, Jessie, grabbed my left breast as if to mimic a massage, the kind you would expect from the unisex parlours in Patpong. But I was not in a unisex parlour, I had no tequila shots, and the idea of the intriqued 'ah pek' gazing at us, was not what you might associate with a conducive ambience!!!

Just when I pushed her hand away, Heyland leaned forward from across the table from where she was sitting and offered me a generous view of her full busom...nice i must say but hey!!!

Then the stunner! Jessie said if I 'wanted orgasm' (pronounced in perfect English) she would give me a special rate! Haha....After all the struggling with the language even with simple words, they pronounced 'orgasm' excellently.

Times must be bad if they were now shifting their attention to unsuspecting women...like me. Hey, I have had my fair share of fun over the years but this was just not my idea of getting in the mood!

I took off but curiously, they handed me their numbers. I accepted it because I knew somewhere down the line, they would make good conversation, research for a story, maybe a massage or something else? Who knows....should I give them a call I wonder? Maybe when the hubby is tired of massaging me.

Missus Singapore out!

KATONG CONVENT

This was a school I attended in my formative years as an exploring teen. Whatever you have heard about the on-goings in a convent, I assure you that at least 50% of it is true.

Stick around and I'll gradually unveil my experiences with the gals and guys although I was more of a quiet observer than a doer during my school days.

Okay, so I was a bad girl outside of school but at least I didn't shit in my own school yard, like some of my KC schoolmates.

Missus Singapore out!

ASK MISSUS SINGAPORE #1

Well I am not sure how this came about but I have been receiving many queries of a sexual nature. I have to be honest - I'm not the best person to answer them but I'll try. Just don't blame me if you end up in jail or hospital!

Still, thanks for the questions because at least I know know someone is reading this blog of mine!

Q1. A woman asks: "How do I get the guts to be as direct as you are or even post a nude photo online?"

MS: "Guts? You don't need guts. You need a digital camera (with a stand if no one can help you). Doesn't matter what you look like, it's liberating. Stomach in, tits out and let your sultry smile fog up the lenses. Who says you have to show it to the world? But keep it safely. I know this woman, a senior manager from Intel Singapore who was a little bit of an exhibitionist. Got into many awkward encounters at work when a colleague stumbled onto a few of her photos posted on a website forum by her husband.

Q2. (not sure by whom) How can you be so open about sex?

MS: Well to have sex, one needs to be 'open' yeah? I have hidden my sexuality for the longest time and in that time I have been not even half as happy as I am now. I teach my children about safe sex and the initial emotions that go with it. I feel the initial approach to it should be carefully thought off and requires a level of maturity. For me, well I am in a secure relationship and sex has entered a totally different level which cannot be compared with what teens think of it or should be thinking of it.

Q3. (possibly from a woman) Why are you cheapening a woman's image?

MS: Am I? I only am sharing my personal feelings and if I seem cheap then its your prerogative to think so. I feel as long as I am having fun in my life, sharing my life with my hubby, and not screwing around behind my hubby's back, I have no guilty conscience. We share an open relationship where we express fantasies, lusts, dreams, everything with each other. If you do it with someone else or have private thoughts about fucking someone else, isn't that worse?

Missus Singapore out!

MS VS MRS

I was having drinks with some friends at Boat Quay the other day. It was a nice cool night, the usual crowd and usual pick-up lines. Yawn!

Anyway, a friend of my friend was also there - apparently a top 5 finalist at the Miss Singapore Pageant in 2005. Quite sweet young thing but had a mouth which several of us 'older' gals had wanted to silence.

I am not sure how it started but she kept insinuating that all married women are set to head downhill after marriage and children. I remained cordial and listened...than a friend reminded her that I had previously won the Mrs Singapore title in 2003. I had almost forgotten about that (another story in the making). Well, the other women were ruthless about how the two pageants differed. My good friend Clara said something that rang some truth...She said that a Miss Singapore has youth on her side to look good and sexy, but if a Mrs Singapore (Ahem! like me) could maintain her shape and beauty after two children and a longer exposure to gravity (something i did not appreciate), that is true beauty.

Another beauty writer friend rubbed it in and challenge the younger girl (forgot her name) to name any former Ms Singapore who looked good after 10 years... to be honest I was trying to figure one out but couldn't really tell.

If only the media thought the same thing....we would be spread across all the magazine covers here.... So many drinks later, I became roped into a contest, a contest to prove how much 'market value' we had to the male in the street.

Long story short - MILFs are the in thing - so I've still some value left in me yet!

Missus Singapore out!

MY RECORD DOESN'T LOOK GOOD

Ever since I read through the detailed version of the Durex Sex Survey, I was adamant that the figures were not accurate unless they actually got their numbers from prankster kids or people in the religious field or something.

So I set off to log in the number of times I had sex a week. On average it was around five but over the last month, due to kids' exams and problems with the maid, it has gone down to twice a week. For a horny one like me, this does not make good reading.

I know it clears my mind and de-stresses me but at such time, mustering the energy takes some doing. And the mood needs to be there too.We will get back to what it was before and we don't need some stupid Dr Sex, to help us out - especially when he looks like a cross between a snail and a bespectacled but balding billy goat! He's all fraud because no one would want to touch him, let alone have sex with the idiot.

Missus Singapore out!

MISS BOOBSPORE

ALAS! A Ms Singapore with boobs to show. My friends and I have been craving for one for the longest time because we have kind of given up on MediaCorp picking a pretty face.

From the past five or six years, it has been horrible. So we never had the boobs but what the hell, at least pick someone who has the looks...and there are many around in Singapore.

Intelligence on paper is important apparently but judging by what this sorry bunch of bimbos say when they open their mouths, you are really left wondering. So what we have learnt here is that being in university is no assurance that what comes out of one's mouth is gonna be shit-free.

So I say, forget the good looks, the degree and so on...just go with the boobs. At least if we don't get far, and its unlikely we will, we can show the world that boobs in Singapore are not a rare phenomenon. Imagine what it will do for tourism here. And this time around, I wouldn't even mind having my hands on them... slurp!

Uniquely Singapore Ms Singapore - Brains, some beauty and a rack to show off. And Jade, don't even think about it with your absent eyelids!

Missus Singapore out!

JUST DO IT NOW

I'm so tired of friends telling me how they wish they could do this or that but because of work or family, they just can't find the time to do it. Honestly, if you don't take a stand for the things that are important to you, no one else will do it for you!

Missus Singapore out!

ALLY HOE

She is a friend I bumped into at a supermarket sometime back. Alison isn't her real name but allow me to explain. She hails from California and remains single by choice. She recently came over with a bottle of wine for our usual once-a-month intimate girl-talk. She works as a corporate consultant by day, where she appears the stern business-type.

The most recent time she came over, she also brought a few VCDs which I figured she wanted to watch or lend me. As it turned out, those were VCDs of some movies she had made whilst in the US. It was clear within two minutes of viewing that it was porn. Watching her in action was weird but she did it all, everything you would imagine from a porn movie, she was doing it. Some amazing things I had never seen too.

We had known each other for almost two years and this was the first time I knew this part of her life. Her screen name was Alison. She told me it did not make her rich but it was clearly liberating for her. I am not sure i would recommend this to any woman seeking to explore and discover herself but I sure as hell have fantasised being a porn star on more than several occasions.

My movie would be Dirty Debutant Debbie.

Missus Singapore out!

JOO CHIAT - PART 1

After doing an interview for an article, I was passing by Joo Chiat and felt a little daring so I decided to wander into the so-called vice-lane. It seemed all very innocent. No big groups of men around. Well, it was only 6pm anyway. So I decided to grab a drink at a nearby coffee-shop.

It did not take too long before I was approached. Caught me by surprise really. Nope, not men trying to pry if i was offering special services. Two China gals instead!

In their broken English (if you can call it that), they were trying to befriend me. Suspicious I thought! But they claimed all they really wanted was a Singaporean friend to take them around and show them the area. Seemed innocent enough I thought...

(...to be continued)

Missus Singapore out!

HARLEY DAVIDSON GIG

I used to model in my younger days and was with this agency Bess Models. It was great mingling with all the hot bods and sexy babes. Someone told me then that it does get tiring and boring on the catwalk after a while and I thought how could it ever be so.

Well, I was a young woman who loved to be in the spotlight at the time. Years later though, at a recent show I did for some charity event, I realised it just didn't give me the same high...in fact there was no high at all. It's really not as glamorous a life as most people think anyway.

This shot was along a runway for Harley Davidson in Hollywood, California in 2003 - the closest to international fame I ever got.It was a sniff but at least I knew what it smelt like.

Missus Singapore out!

MISS US SINGAPORE

It's all about us married women...the missuses of Singapore...the honorific that consigns us to the dusty shelves of society. Never quite as sophisticated-sounding as 'miss' or domineering as 'mister' but us missuses sure can contribute a lot to society, more than people give us credit for.

Our experience around the block (more than a few times) means that we don't have to play second-fiddle to some young floozie who claims to be well-travelled and has been there and done that.

When you have had kids, run the household, maybe even hold a career, play tarty wife or nurse to appease your husbands' whims and fancies....and are still able to look and feel sexy and beautiful - now you're talking! So miss us at your own peril because the time is soon upon us when married women will rule the world!

Missus Singapore out!

A MISCONCEPTION

There seems to be a widespread view that the moment a woman gets married and has kids, she is deemed to be over the hill. In all fairness, many married women do let themselves go after kids come along. Oblivious to most of them is that by doing that, it gradually eats away at their self-esteem.

When other single women observe how they pay scant regard to their shape, health and well-being, it delivers an impression that marriage is really the point when an attractive woman is replaced by a nurturing mother. It's a stereotype that sees many married women overwhelmed by any efforts they may make to stay attractive and keep in shape.

I heard two married women talking while waiting in queue at a pharmacy. Their toddler kids were standing and fidgeting beside them.

"Married already so no need to wear nice clothes and make-up," said one.

"Yah lor, what for bother," the other replied to a woman who had just paid for several make-up items.

I found it really sad because there were signs that both of them could still prove to be knockouts.

I am not saying that you got to spot make-up all the time or don nice clothes. It's just the attitude and mindset that can do wonders. It's a lift we all need every now and then. I fear if nothing is done soon to change this mindset, more singles will stay single for as long as they can. Of course it is their prerogative but it does hurt our nation which is struggling to find babies to replace a fast-ageing population.

On my part, I insist on carrying myself with confidence and make it a point to always look good and keep healthy. I'm certain that being married does not mean the death of one's sexuality. You need to keep the wolf whistles blowing for as long as you can.

A woman who is happy of the way she looks and feels is bound to make a positive contribution to the family mechanics. Invariably, a strong sexual relationship in a marriage is bound to create a more loving and balanced and less strained home environment. The family as a whole gains most.

I am a married woman, hear me roar! Or should it be moan and groan?

Missus Singapore out!